Goodbye Xe

Tonight my perfect friend - my wonderful companion went to sleep forever
and I will miss him terribly as long as I live.
Goodbye my sweet boy, I was humbled to be your person, there with you even as you took your last breaths, and I hope you think of me wherever you flew.

vindication

I recently connected with an old friend and co-worker who used to do shifts with me at the group homes. I have been trying to explain these jobs as if they are old war stories - and I'm sure I sound like an over-sensitive freak. But!! This friend was there with me and even after I left he stayed and talking about this stuff is like a vindication. Yes, Shelley - it happened.

Ok. And! He made a coke-snorting prostitute manager in a movie he made and named her Shelly. I will choose not to take that personally. No really. ;-)

Work is going well. I have a crazy co-worker (not the racist one) who is insistently trying to usurp my position - to the point that I come in and she is ensconced at my desk, using my computer and phone - and it's tough to get her OUT. Can we say....NUT case? I've never before had anyone envy my position in life or employment. That is just weird to me.

I am hosting karaoke this weekend and next. I feel odd about it because I did a song by Ben Folds the last time I was there and there were a LOT of fucks and shits in the song. I think I shocked people and while it was avoidable - my defense is that I sort of forgot about all the fucks and shits until I was up there singing, then I was committed and could not just quit. Plus, the song is in the character of a poor beleaguered middle class white boy and the black part of the audience was 1/2 and 1/2 getting it and NOT getting it. I was feeling awkward as shit, and I'm worried about Saturday because it's hard enough to pull a show together without feeling like I've made a giant faux pas. *sigh*

I'm very lucky to have connected with my old friends and I'm very lucky to have my new job, and I'm very lucky to have the karaoke hosting job, and I'm very lucky to have tickets to FUCKING AMSTERDAM, WOOOOOT, and I'm very lucky to have my fantastic partner for almost three years.

And then, my 17.5 year old cat started shitting in the closet. I do NOT want to lose him so we are giving him some time to stop whatever it is he's doing and fucking behave. We lost the Mojinator and I do not want to lose Xerox too. He's a smelly old fart but I love him.

Changes!

Wow, have I ever been busy lately. Ever since leaving the residential agency and joining the ranks of the Feds I have been working and sleeping, sleeping and working.

Updates? Hm...the man and I have our tickets to Amsterdam, woo hoo! I told my new boss that I always go to Amsterdam in the spring and she agreed to give me leave to do so. Mainly this was because I told her about it in the interview so it wasn't something I sprung on her after the fact. So, come April 22nd (23rd with travel time +1 day) I will be sipping a nice hot beverage and practicing my EXTREMELY poor Dutch. No, seriously. Anything more than please and thank you or even...ik heb geen idee...and I'm a loser. And a geek, since it just occurred to me that I could make a character name in Warcraft using that now so tired phrase.

I haven't had to fill my gas tank in almost two weeks, yee haw!

Ok, full stop. I do *not* use words like yee haw.

But you know, I haven't had to fill my tank in almost two weeks because I get to ride a bus to work now. It's pretty fantastic and I can't wait for warmer weather so that I can stick my bike on the front and ride it either part-way or all the way home. I've been getting lots of exercise what with the hospital being three blocks UPHILL each morning, and I don't mind that at all.

For the most part I like my co-workers and they have a sincere dedication to the patients we support. These guys certainly deserve respect and help, considering they gave up limbs and mental health in the service to Uncle Sam. What's really great about working in this environment is that politics is a non-issue. Nobody gives a fuck who is voting for Hillary Clinton and whether David Vitter paid a prostitute to spank him while he wore diapers. We are all there to help the patients, period.

Of course because of the racism thing I'll be a pariah come Monday or Tuesday. What racism thing, you ask? Well I trained with a long-timer who went on a rant to me that was filled with racist vitriol, and I vented to a co-worker afterwards...a co-worker who went to my supervisors. Both of them. And I had to document the "incident" for them and I can bet they'll talk to her Monday or Tuesday...after which she'll label me a rat and I will be lower than the bottom of a pair of shoes. Even though I didn't go to the bosses it's still on me. I was just venting. As I do. Gah.... this is stressing me out a little bit, but surprisingly less than managing staff within a residential agency.

What's nice about things right now is that A. I got a seriously kick ass pair of Maryjane's today, and spent a good hour polishing them while I watched In the Shadow of the Vampire. And!! I wasn't even on drugs while I did it. What's the story with that, you say? Well...I used to use speed and shining my Doc Martin combat boots was usually an all night task for me, and a very enjoyable one. No drugs now, but I do have a crazy-awesome pair of new shiney shoes.

Oh yeah! B. In addition to shiney shoes I haven't thought of politics ALL DAY. Fuck politics. It gives me a fucking headache with all the inherent misogyny going around. No, goddamn it I do not like Hillary - but jesus christ on a stick there are too many elements of women hating on the blogs and in the media instead of people looking at her RECORD. Ok, there, see what that makes me do? CAPS.

C. I went shoe shopping and out to dinner with some good friends and it was just nice to share their company. I miss that when I crawl into Hermit Land, pick up some knitting needles, and space out the world. It's no great secret that as fucked up as I've always been it has evolved into me becoming more and more reclusive as I age. I want the benefits of friends but it's so goddamn hard for me to want to leave the house sometimes. So, tonight with shopping and dinner was great. Of course I ate too much but damn. I took the stairs all damn day.

Oh hell, I'd vote for him a third time.

Hat tip: Feministing




This is so great. I'm so ready for someone, anyone on our side, to take on these fuckers and shove their hypocrisy down their own throats. The sorry thing is that these anti-choice assholes will never get that they are flat out assholes. They are the fanatics and lunatic fringe and firmly believe they are saving "teh babies" from a gruesome death. I know what I'm talking about. When I was preparing for my own abortion I was suckered into a CPC and harrassed by these fucks. When I finally got to the clinic I had to be ushered through a line of assholes screaming at me not to kill my baby, and I guess my own feeling was that they should be in my shoes before trying to bully me into a death sentence that the pregnancy was for me.

So, fuck you anti-choice assholes, and YAY for Bill Clinton - I'd vote for you again, triangulation, NAFTA, and all. (I forgive you.)

Ok, so hopefully by now everyone has seen this Obama video: 

But you HAVE to watch this one next. I laughed my ass off. 

And, fuck you, John McCain.

feminist message of the day:

Can we please for the LOVE OF GOD stop equating Hillary’s ability to preside over the country with her husband’s open fly?

I’m not in either camp but I’m really fed up with the way so many people come to decide about Hillary by way of how she got cheated on in the 1990’s.

:::head exploding:::

Has it been three weeks?

I guess you're right. I've been MIA for a while. Partly I've been covering a lot of hours out at a job site and that takes all my energy. Partly I've been avoiding politics and anything else likely to keep me consistently pissed off.

I've been keeping busy, however. I've been on many job interviews and preparing all of my current client files for the day I leave. If I leave - you know, it depends on those job interviews. I think they went well, but one never can tell.

I've been playing a lot of Warcraft with the man since I got my iMac and sold him my old gaming laptop. That has been a ton o' fun and I knew it would be. We've been playing a Mage/Priest combo and the asskicking has been amazing. I like multi-tasking and that's what I do as a Shadow Priest - I cast damaging spells yet watch the health of the Mage so he doesn't cause too much threat and die. But you know, if he does bite it then I can resurrect him which is nice. We're still doing the lowbie quests so he can learn the game and I am pretty well versed in everything we need to do so there isn't a lot of "Wait! Let me look this up on Thotbot!" going around.

I'm back to gaming with the Sunday group - and that is a blast too. I have missed the back and forth with all the guys and of course with the best DM ever we have been doing some very fun things. One of the guys has taken my spell list and transformed it into a webpage with drop-down arrows, and as soon as he finds a way to save it with each use it will be the best spell sheet ever. I realized I could do an excel sheet with the drop-downs and save it, but this is his project and it's very cool~! It looks better than anything I could do and I like it a lot.

I'm still vegetarian (since August 07) and that's going well. I have been taking fish oil capsules and realized that I need that very much and so keeping my crohn's disease in mind I will eat the occasional fish. I started thinking that I needed a carne asada burrito and so the man ordered one and I actually took a bite. It tasted like crap. My bean and rice tasted infinitely better. That was a good thing - I didn't want to blow my whole veggie plan over a steak burrito. Who needs all those chemicals and hormones anyway?

I had the worst sinus headaches every morning for months. I was living on Sudafed (the real stuff from the pharmacist and not the fake "PE" they sell now to thwart the meth-lab people) and hating life. I started learning about neti pots and then I finally used one. After a day or so the headaches stopped completely. I haven't had one now since some time in December. If I get stuffy or even just dry - I use the neti pot and my sinuses are in fantastic shape. Of course I stopped taking Sudafed and gained five pounds. Exactly five pounds. Which brings me to my next point.

I made the switch from my HMO to the new one - it was not a choice, since my employer decided to only allow one HMO and it wasn't mine. We all had to do it. So - I have a new cardiologist, new pacemaker nurse, new gastroenterologist, and new clinics, and new hospital. I chose the cardiologist based on country of origin - he's from India - I figure that the top of the top doctors in India come to practice here, so it's an even bet that I will get a sharp Cardio doc. I had my pacemaker checked and had an echocardiogram (cutest ec nurse evar, zomg) and now on Friday I will go into the hospital for some further pacemaker checking because apparently it's not doing what it's supposed to do. I'll be sedated and get the rest of the day off which is pretty wonderful. I hope they figure out what the problem is and fix it.

Yesterday I met my new Gastro doc - and I want you to picture Emma Thompson (the actress) with a mop of Shirley Temple curls and well, nuts. She's a british doctor, and talked a mile a minute. She seemed pretty sharp to me, but I don't know if one visit has me trusting her with my gut health. She didn't really let me get a word in, and that's pretty important with crohn's disease because the patient is the one who knows the most about his condition. One good note is that I'm on a schedule for blood draws now because of my weekly med, and based on the seriousness of that med I'm glad they are checking. Also, I'm permanently off my supposed-daily drug of 16 pills per day. WTF, says you - did you say Sixteen Pills Per Day? Yes. And I don't take them anyway - so it was a wasted effort at best. Another plus in the new G.I.'s direction is that she doesn't want to use the evil devil prednisone if I have a flare in the future. She already gave me a prescription for a different steroid and I'm just supposed to handle it if that problem comes up. Based on what my records say (when they arrive - for some reason my old doc's office has some issues with fax machines?) I will possibly not have to see the inside of my G.I.'s office for a whole year, unless I become ill. Can I get an amen, hallelujah?

:::End of Update:::