really fucking amazing

So out of the blue I see a request on MySpace for someone to be added to my list. I don't really check out MySpace too often, but you know how it is, sometimes I'm surfing and end up checking mail or something. So...there's a request - and the picture- my god it's my old best friend's little girl! Well, not so little any more, but I knew this child from the time she was born, practically. That is so great that she actually found me some how and contacted me! I still remember one day we were all sitting around watching crap TV and during a news article about Nazis she says- "Mommy, are those fascists?" HA! She was about three years old at the time. Too funny. What a great kid. One of the worst things about ending things with her mom was that it meant I wouldn't get to see her anymore. We used to have some really good times- she was never bratty or anything, just a really good kid to have around. It was also funny that she is using the name of my cat for her MySpace name. Well, it used to be HER cat, before he was mine. It's adorable, anyway. I'm glad she found me.

kick ASS

Last night was just so much fun. I arranged for a client's birthday party to be at the same place as my friends' show so that I wouldn't miss it. I bought a cake and wrote JEOPARDY on it, just for the birthday girl, because that is her favorite word. She's so adorable. I walked her over to see the cake and helped her spell it out, and she was just grinning from ear to ear when she realized it was her birthday cake and that it said Jeopardy. I know she tends to spray when she blows out candles so I bought her another separate cake for the candles. I know I wasn't planning on enjoying her spittle, so no one else probably wanted to either. We had plenty of people from the company show up, including some people I hadn't met before, which was really nice. The people at the High Noon ordered pizza so that everyone would be able to buy it by the slice. It worked out well. The only snag was that one of my staff who was working with a client ordered wine and was drinking (in plain sight!) on the job. It was like she didn't even care that there were three supervisors there. Two of us RSC's and one staff noticed her drinking and although it's within CAI's rules that an employee gets fired immediately - I just couldn't do it. I fucking wussed out and wasn't up to it. I don't really know why, except that I really didn't want to. I talked with another RSC and we decided to let management handle it today. Grrrr. If we do nothing, then of course we hurt morale with the other staff, who see that we see staff drinking on the job and do nothing. And of course it's my JOB to be a mandated reporter so not saying anything is just right out. Dammit. I really resent being put in this position. I was drinking too, but goddamn it I wasn't working! That staff is such a cunt anyway, I have never been able to stand her. I won't miss her when she's fired but that's beside the point.
Otherwise everyone had a great time and all the people who wanted to dance got their big chance. One of my clients was just ...enthralled with the music. She was singing along and dancing and she didn't even know the words! That just made my heart swell. In a good way. =P I am going to try harder than ever to get her out to shows. She and I go to Weight Watchers together each week and she needs the exercise, but she is also very shy and it's great to get her out in the community and around people. I guess before I knew her she spent years in her room and never came out or spoke to anyone. Wow, things have changed. I would love to keep everything on an upward spiral for her.
If I get the position for which I applied I really hope the next RSC does his or her best to keep things as good as they are now for my clients. I know that it has taken almost two years to build a good rapport with these women, and I can't expect things to happen immediately, but I know what I'd like, and that's the best possible things for the ladies I work with. They all have had hard lives, ones most people can't imagine. Having a disability and being in the system is at best, frustrating. At the very least, you lose your privacy and independence. I think that's one thing I very much try to encourage with the people I support. I've been there when a man will ASK me if it's okay for him to take a piss. And of course- it's not up to me, but then I think about his past, and how many people have imposed rules on him. How many people have told him what to do, when to do it, and for how long. It's really sad the way I've seen people with disabilities treated. It's actually worse than dogs in a lot of cases. One of the first things I saw when I started this job was a man who was kept in a cupboard by the staff. He sat in his own feces in the dark, in a closet. That staff deserves to be beaten in public and left in the stocks with a sign around his neck saying just why he's there. I think that's a perfect punishment. Oh yeah, no bathroom breaks. Asshole.

meese

Ok, imagine waking up and seeing THESE in front of your face. HAHAHAHAHA! I just lost it. And Bill is so cute in his um...moose-wear.

Ow!

I'm finding muscles I didn't even know I had. I went to the gym again - I'm totally kicking my own ass. Do I deserve this? Ha!

fucking REM

...destroyed all of my employment records, the bastards! That's like half my life I spent under their thumbs!!

feelin stronger every day

Ok, not really. I'm in pain. Bleh. But at least I freaking WENT to the gym this morning. If not for Bill I'd lie in bed all day, but he brought me coffee. And Tylenol. Goddamn arthritis, I must be 80 years old.

>>>>>>>>>>next section in which Tidalgrrrl tempts Fate>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We got tickets to Amsterdam for Queensday! Woot! I'm really excited to go, and this time I won't take a minibreak in Ireland. Those fucks. I'm going straight to the Netherlands, and no one can stop me, not even death!

So I should go to work at some point. I like money. And I'm very sweaty from the Club and need a shower before I scare my cats with my smell. Oh who am I kidding? Cats are weird and love it the more you stink. They say, "ooooh mommy you smell like mommy!"

Weird.

in which I body sculpt

The workout this morning (6am!)was very tough, and we used a weighted bar, free weights, stretchy things, a bouncy ball for crunches (ow!) as well as an aerobics stepper for lunges and different exercises targeting all kinds of specific muscle groups. For a Whole Hour. Hmm...the woman this time was like a drill sargeant, and she had no mercy for my poor rotator cuffs (yeah, I have rotator cuffs, who knew?). I was able to do most of the exercises, except I noticed that I'm a lot weaker on my upper left side and I had to stop at just one part for a little bit, then I joined in again when I could. It's all done independently (vs. the weight machines that move together) so I'll probably gain strength on that side. I will want to go earlier to the gym next Tuesday and do a half hour of cardio before the toning stuff. I wasn't sure how tough it would be, but it's probably better to be warmed up so I don't fall off the damn bouncy ball again during the balancing stuff, and also my joints were really hurting just from holding the weights and doing push-ups. I should be working out every morning. I think I'll be much better off if I do. I want to do the Tu/Th classes too, but I need to go every day. The mirror in the gym was QUITE the motivator.

my life so far, whatever...

Well that was strange, because I had that post up three whole times. Hmm.. I fixed it, anyhoo.

Found out what was causing all my weird headaches and crap - it was them tapering down my Prednisone too quickly. I'm on 20mg again (godDAMN it) and have an appt. to see the Dr. in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately I felt an immediate improvement in my gut when I upped the dose, but my moods took a total freefall. I didn't even want to see Ben fucking Folds in concert - I had to get really high to motivate. That is really sad. I was crying over nothing - was pissed off and weird and hyper-manic - I fucking hate Prednisone. I really do. I wish it didn't work so well and they'd find another way to fix me.

Speaking of Ben Folds...GodDAMN it was a shitty show. I hated it. Every stinkin minute. He can't sing or play piano and I can't believe I wasted so much money on tickets.

Ok, Michiel, stop reading right now. Everyone else scroll down.












Holy mother of God that show kicked ass! Ben was *SO* on it, I was really fucking impressed. He did all the songs I really wanted to hear, including Losing Lisa and One Angry Dwarf, and of course Army - which rocked the house. He had the upper part of the theater singing one part of the Bah Dah Bahhhhh Bah Bah ...and the lower singing the other part of it - it was so much fun. When he played Narcolepsy I about lost it, because he was totally jamming and slamming on the piano - you could tell he was way more into it than the last time I saw him in October. The energy was better. He did Zak and Sara and just rocked it. He played some stuff from a movie thing that nobody's heard before and it was really good too- The entire crowd was singing along to just about every song - I was singing too but some songs I just wanted to hear him do, like Landed - which I know every word, but god, I wanted to hear him do it and I sure did. The sound quality was really good in the Orpheum and I was glad that the music didn't overpower the vocals. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy SHIT what a GREAT SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!


I wish I felt better today, but at least I felt pretty fucking awesome when I saw Ben in concert! There are two Ben's that I'd leave Bill for, and the other on is Browder. Totally different reasons, and as Dory said, Bill shouldn't hold his breath.

flaws in my thought process

I went to give a blood sample for Drs. Dewitt and Katwala and passed out in the cubicle. After some apple juice and time I'm back at work with a raging headache I can only guess will let up sometime soon. =P The tech was really good - I barely felt the stick. I think he knew I was gonna go...he wanted to stop the draw and I said to keep going so I didn't have to do this twice. I think that was my mistake. I had full knowledge that I've been awake with pain since around 6am - and still went for the blood draw. I can be such a ninny sometimes.

BOSU class

Jesus Mary and Joseph on a stick. I got up at 5am

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>truth rewind>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Bill got me up with coffee around 5:30,

>>>>>>>>>>>>continue>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

and after some attempts to fall back asleep, I went to the gym for an aerobics class at 6. A.M. Ya. Anyway - They put us on these balance ball thingeys and then made us jump around like ninnies. The instructor mentioned that she was pregnant, and I felt better. At least I wouldn't be the only one not feeling great in the class. I just about died a few times, but goddammit I didn't quit. She kept telling us to stand on one foot, then raise the other one, or some goddamn thing - on your knees, raise your leg, pee on the girl next to you, then raise your opposite arm or something - some of the stuff she couldn't even do! haha! It was a good workout, but I would have liked less of the aerobics and more of the weights. I can probably give myself a better workout, but it's good to be in an actual class twice a week, where I have to keep up with other people.

Next Tuesday is the sculpting class with weights and pulleys and stuff. I can hardly wait!