well this was positive...

...in a negative sort of way. For the Thursday weigh-in I'm down 2.2 lbs. which means I lost some weight, FINALLY. I didn't go to the gym once. I biked a miniscule amount, and walked some while I was SHOPPING, so I don't know if that counts. Probably not. At least I hit my goal for this week. Yay!
I think since I hit the gym so hard the week before it jumped my metabolism. I'm gonna do that again starting tomorrow. Besides, when I make it to the club by 7:30 I can watch the Colbert Report while I do my cardio. :) The Comedy Central Diet Plan. Woo Hoo!

Not Representative...

Of our state. I promise. Jesus Christ what FREAKS.

Spam of the Week

Sender: Sam Burnett
Subject: piteous

Now, what would make someone send such a piteous email? I mean, are we suppose to feel sorry for the guy and open his virus-laden spam attempt? Huh. Well, Sam, it didn't WORK! So go back to feeling piteous.

it's official

We're all unhappy at our job. One of my co-workers burst into tears in the kitchen. The rest of us constantly apply to new jobs, hoping that we'll have a chance to actually succeed at something in our lives. One of the most common questions to each other is "have you seen any openings lately?" It's really sad the way it's shaking out. We're all making less money than when we were hired due to lack of pay raises and rise in healthcare costs. There isn't any funding for us, and we're forced to cope or flip burgers. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being told how special I am for working with people who have disabilities, and not being able to pay the bills and stressed to death because I can't do five times more work because they have to keep letting people go because of budget cuts. I don't want to work three jobs to make ends meet. I want to work one solid job where I can feel challenged instead of harangued, and not feel between ambivalence and dread each day when I go to the office.

teeth-gnasher of the day

However, I was successful at getting my client's private information taken out of the public purview. Jesus christ, all I did was order checks for her from this company, and I got a catalog from this company. WTF? I called the catalog place and took her off the list, but they pre-print those months in advance, so I'm going to see them for a long time to come. Dickheads. I read them the riot act about invasion of privacy and junk mail and they spluttered and I hung up on them.
So then it was time to call the real culprit and wreak havoc. That was good, but my blood pressure spiked really high. It took a manager of a manager to work it all out. They told me that my client could NEVER be taken off their lists for junk mail distribution, even if I was never going to order from them again (which I'm fucking NOT). So I kept asking "up" and finally they removed the name and address from the junk mail list. What an effort just to get removed from a junk mailing list. What crap. What utter crap.

Well...duh!

You scored as atheism. You are... an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul. Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God. atheism 83% agnosticism 67% Satanism 58% Buddhism 42% Paganism 42% Judaism 33% Christianity 25% Islam 17% Hinduism 0% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com H/T Michiel

HAHAHAHAH

9.52 KEEPING OF CHICKENS.

Any person who keeps chickens in the City of Madison shall obtain an annual license prior to January 1 of

each year, or within 30 days of acquiring the chickens. The license year commences on January 1 and

ends on the following December 31.

Application shall be made to the City Treasurer and the fee for the license shall be six dollars ($6.00).

The Treasurer or other authorized individual shall collect the fee and shall assess and collect a late fee of five dollars ($5.00) from every owner of chickens, if the owner fails to obtain a license prior to April 1 of each year, or fails to obtain a license within 30 days of acquiring the chickens. All late fees received or collected shall be paid into the local Treasury.

(Cr. by Ord. 13,605, 5-21-04)

wtf?

Great. I'm a scofflaw. /snicker.

This is from the Madison municipal codes website. The scariest part is where they say an officer can go into a home and seize a non-licensed animal for disposal. Now, I know that NOBODY's gonna freakin do that, but still~!

9.31   CAT LICENSE.

(1)   Definitions  .

(a)   The word "owner" when used in this section in relation to a property right in or possession of a cat includes every person who owns, harbors, or keeps a cat.

(b)   The word "neutered" as used herein as describing a cat shall mean a cat having nonfunctional generative organs.

(2)   Every owner of a cat more than five (5) months of age on January 1 of any year, or five (5) months of age within the license year shall annually, or within thirty (30) days from the date such cat becomes five (5) months of age, at the time and in the manner provided by law, pay a cat license fee and obtain a license therefore. Effective April 1, 2004, such cat license fee shall be eight dollars ($8) for each neutered male cat or spayed female cat upon presentation of evidence that the cat is neutered or spayed, and thirteen dollars ($13) for each unneutered male cat or unspayed female cat, or one-half of these amounts if the cat becomes five (5) months of age after July 1 of the license year. The cat license year shall commence on January 1 and end on the following December 31. (Am. by Ord. 11,736, 12-13-96; Ord. 13,488, 1-23-04)

(3)   Upon payment of the required cat license fee on any cat, the City Treasurer or other authorized individual shall execute and issue to the applicant a license for such cat which shall state the date of its expiration, shall bear a serial number, owner's name and address, and the name, sex, spayed and unspayed, breed, description and color of the cat licensed, and a duplicate copy of the license shall be kept on file. The City Treasurer or other authorized individual shall at the same time deliver to the licensee a tag of durable material which shall bear the same serial number as the license and the name of the City of Madison. The cost of making and furnishing such tags and the cost of printing all forms shall be paid out of license revenues. The City Treasurer may authorize the initial issuance of cat licenses by local veterinarians. Effective January 1, 1996, the City Treasurer shall pay fifty cents (.50) from the proceeds of each license to the veterinarian or veterinary clinic which issues the license asreimbursement for providing licensing services. Veterinarians shall not issue renewals of previously issued licenses. (Am. by Ord. 11,736, 12-13-96)

(4)   The licensee shall securely attach the tag to a collar or harness and said collar or harness with the tag attached shall at all times be kept on the cat for which the license is issued. A new tag with a new number shall be furnished to the licensee by the City Treasurer or other authorized individual in place of the original tag upon presentation of the license and proof of the loss of the original tag. The Treasurer or other authorized individual shall then endorse the new license number on such license. The City Treasurer shall keep a record thereof. (Am. by Ord. 10,766, 11-1-93)

(5)   The fact that a cat is without a license attached to the cat by means of a collar or harness shall be presumptive evidence that the cat is unlicensed. Madison police officers shall seize, impound or restrain any cat for which a cat license is required which is found without such license attached and shall seize, impound or restrain any cat found running at large and any such officer may enter upon premises of the owner to seize such cat.

(6)   The owner of all cats over five (5) months of age shall place on said cats a collar or harness bearing the name and address of the owner of said cat plainly stamped on said collar or harness, or upon a metal identification tag attached thereto. It shall be unlawful for any person other than the owner or keeper thereto to remove a cat's collar or harness containing the name of the owner or the license number from any cat.

(7)   Any cat found or discovered off the premises of its owner and unaccompanied by its owner or some person in control of it shall be considered to be at large and a private nuisance and may be seized, restrained, impounded and disposed of as provided in Section 23.33 of the Madison General Ordinances.

(8)   Late Fees  . The Treasurer or other authorized individual shall assess and collect a late fee of five dollars ($5) from every owner of a cat five (5) months of age or over, if the owner failed to obtain a license prior to April 1 of each year, or within thirty (30) days of acquiring ownership of a licensable cat or if the owner failed to obtain a license on or before the cat reached licensable age. All late fees received or collected shall be paid into the local Treasury. The provisions of this Subsection shall becomeeffective April 1, 2004. (Cr. by Ord. 13,488, 2-23-04)

(9)   Penalties. Any person violating any provision of this section or who shall cause, suffer or permit the violation of any provision of this section shall be subject to a forfeiture of not less than twenty-five dollars ($25) nor more than two hundred dollars ($200). (Renumbered to Subsec. (9) by Ord. 13,488, 2-23-04)

weird day

I've been really dysfunctional at work lately, and feeling bored as hell. I'm not sure what's wrong with that...since at least I'm not in a crunch. I've gotten a lot done but feel like I haven't done shit for days. Ennui, perhaps? :P

I went to pick up keys at NARAL so I can volunteer this weekend and the doors were locked. Thank goodness for magnetic protestations posted on the door of the volunteer office, and I was able to hang a note for the interim coordinator. I'll get the keys tomorrow.

After that I went over to pick up Mojo's ashes at the vet's. They gave him Bill's last name, but it's funny because he was Mr. Mojo Risin. He didn't really have a last name. It's a generic way to keep the "patients" straight. In this case, he was in a cardboard box. I wasn't ready to open it so I went over to the neighbor's and had some tea. It was really calming and when I was ready to face the "box" I came home. Inside were some industrial peanuts and a small decorative tin. Christmas in September, you say? No. This one had a small baggie inside with my baby's ashes. Poor thing. I really miss him, and Xerox is not affectionate like he was. I've had them both for so many years - I didn't even notice that Xerox wasn't really into the snuggle thing because Momo was just all OVER me constantly.

>>>ow! ow! ate...pickles...have cramp, will travel.>>>>

Ok. Well, I don't know what I'll do with Mojo's ashes, but there are options. Ellie said it's possible to have them made into jewelry. I might like that. Otherwise we could get a container made and put the ashes in the ceramics glaze. That might be neat too. Oh well, it's not like I haven't got time to decide.

I'm thinking about getting another cat to keep Xerox company now. He still meows forlornly when I walk in the door, but he won't let me pet him. He's still upset and it's been over a week. He seems really lonely, when he's not sleeping. (he's 16 - of course he naps a lot!) I'll have to think more on it, but I do know I don't want my friend's cat Lucky Dave. He sounds like a psycho. Mojo had his day to be a little bastard, but he wasn't feral. I dunno. As confused as I am it's probably better to just wait a while...and hope Xerox doesn't get too lonely.

Point Fucking Four?

Dawn says..."good things come to those who wait." I'm sure she's right, but wtf? I've been doing everything I should and I didn't even lose an entire half pound in one week? Crap-fuck-Crap. :P

Neat. H/T Diet Bites.

How Do I Determine My Body Frame Size?

How Do I Determine My Body Frame Size?  Easily, Quickly, Funly! (yes, funly is a word).

 Small, medium or large.  Frame size.  Which size are you?

 How to define your frame.

If you are left-handed, extend your right arm.  If you are right-handed, extend your left arm.

With your free hand, wrap your thumb and middle finger (yes, the one that some people use in heavy traffic) and wrap those around your extended wrist.  Be sure to wrap it around the SMALLEST section of your wrist - very close to where the old hand sticks out.

Small Frame: If your middle finger and thumb overlap, you have a small frame.

Medium Frame: If your middle finger and thumb touch, you have a medium frame.

Large Frame: If your middle finger and thumb do not meet, you have a large frame.

There!  Now wasn't that easy?  In fact, you can use this nifty trick in determining your drink size the next time you dine out.  Simply substitute your wrist for the bottom of the cup.

Great Spam o' the Week

sender: Adalbert Mccullough
subject: manipulation Holy Spirit

I'm fairly sure these are coming from the Outpost since they are addressed to "Rasharra" which is my uh...code name. I'm thinkin it's time to get OFF that list!

Great Quote

I believe that all American women should immediately stop paying taxes based on the founding principle that we will not bear taxation without representation. . . . If India can have fifty/fifty, why the hell can't we?

Tyne Daly
Emmy and Tony Award-Winning Actor, Activist

Friday Spam

sender: Gladys DeJesus
subject line: ant negligee

HA!

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

typical day-

Goal: lose 2 pounds per week.
This week? Lost 1.5
Reward? No fucking reward!
Possible Reward? $20 into a clothes/makeup kitty

I'll try to keep up the tally on this. I'll never be svelte, but I sure like a challenge. I'm off the bastard prednisone steroid and I figure I have a fighting chance to lose some of this bastard prednisone weight-gain plus what I had to lose before. I swear, since I hit age 30+ I have the lowest metabolism ever. Blecccchh.

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

is anyone surprised?

Go ahead, feign indignation. George Bush uses his 9-11 speech to push his illegal Iraq agenda? My stahs...I might get vapors I'm so taken aback. What the hell is different about this speech versus any other speech he's made in the last five years? In my view, nothing. What really bothers me is that so many Dems, Libs, and Progressives are acting so shocked. Yes, acting. There's no effing WAY anyone could not have seen this one coming. And I'm sooooo sick of hearing that they are shocked and appalled. There's no one ALIVE who shouldn't have been shocked and appalled from the first day of the Bush Junior administration. There's nothing new about their strategy to push their agenda at every turn. It fucking WORKS for them, why wouldn't they continue to use it? I predict there will be nothing different about anything this election cycle that we haven't seen before. It began with Rummy saying anyone who disagreed with their illegal war was morally lacking. As we continue past the primaries we're going to see swift-boating of every democrat who dares to oppose the administration. We're going to see Democrats swift-boating Democrats (see Lieberman/Lamont), and non-Republicans backed by Republican money (see Nader's past GOP connection), and lots of indignant speeches by Democrats denouncing the strategies as they come up, with no effect whatsoever (see Ted Kennedy every fucking week). Nothing changes, and I'm sick of hearing the same old response by what is supposed to be "our" side.

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

beautiful.

After Awhile

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of a woman,

not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and that you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn

with every goodbye you learn...

~ ©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

H/T Anna

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

We bin sad, fuck bin laden.

The trip home from La Diego was boring. On the flight to Le Motore Cite I taught a navy girl how to knit. I also finished the first half of my new angora scarf. Beautifool and softee. Bill's flight met up with mine in Mad City and we went home together. Our baby Mojo was so very ill. We couldn't find him for some time, then he turned up laying in a chair on the porch where it was cold. It was too cold for him to be out there. Usually he greets me at the door, maybe with a meow or something to tell me he missed me. After I've been on a trip he's usually pretty psychotic about getting luvs as soon as I arrive.
He looked so skinny and seemed so tired. We decided he should see a vet asap in the morning (this was late late Friday night), and since I was scheduled to volunteer, Bill offered to take him.
Le Mojinator turned out to have a terminal case of kidney failure. He died in our arms. It was a very peaceful death and he went out purring like mad. The vet said that the dose of anesthesia would make him sleep and then stop his heart within seconds. It did. Poor Mojo. I sure loved that little guy. He was so affectionate- almost like a dog. He slept with me every single night and was more loyal than most boyfriends I've had. He was always by my side when I'd get sick, and never stayed mad for long except once when I moved into a new place he was ticked off for two days before he forgave me.

So everyone is weeping and wailing and politicking about 9-11 and I can only think about how much I miss my little guy. I'll post a picture when I get one scanned in. I recently took some of both Mojo and Xerox so I just have to get them squared away.

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

wondahful time...

San Diego is beautiful. I woke up to the sound of sea birds crying over the harbor, and the smell of salt. We're staying in a fairly nice hotel and I plan to visit the harborside pool later on. My honey's in conference all day and working all night, so I have the day to do what I want. It's early yet and I'm still on midwest time so it doesn't feel godawful to be awake. The ocean calls me today. I forgot my sunscreen but this place still feels like home and I know where the local drugstore is. I just paid four bucks for a small glass of moo juice and I think I'm not gonna do any eating in these hotel restaurants!
We had dinnah with the fam out at Dad's last night and it was a blast. It's so funny to be around all that arguing. Everyone was going back and forth and I'm just not used to that dynamic anymore! I was vaguely uncomfortable when my stepmom starting yelling at my dad and sister, but in a different way I totally enjoyed being around that again. She's not a bitch- they needed it (grin) so it's not like it's a bad thing. I just don't think I'm so used to it anymore.
Driving these SoCal freeways are nerve-wracking too. Of course the fucking scenery is awesome so that makes it great. We were driving by Del Mar which has an inlet right off the ocean, and I was overcome with how GREAT it is. Everywhere it's beautiful. I never appreciated that but after being in the Midwest for so long I'm starting to. I wouldn't want to live here again because it's just such a goddamn struggle every day, but visiting is so nice.

--
"Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

at the folks' place :)

This is from the back yard. Dad's got a GREAT camera.

Same sunset, back yard.

I was chilling out and playing Civ 4.

EW EW EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Porno Petey is about the yuckiest thing evar.
 

The first step of their plan to destroy my marriage was to concoct a false story that I once committed adultery. For the record, I have never cheated on my wife. I did, however, attempt to cheat on my wife one time. Unfortunately, I couldn't get past Ms. Coulter's bodyguard.

Friday Funny for my friend Debra :)