517th post? WTF??

Well yippee kay-ay, and goodie for me. On to it, I guess. I haven't been blogging much recently, and when I do it's YouTube links. I don't consider that to be real blogging, even if it does sum up a little of what I feel sometimes. I guess I've been working hard to keep my head above water with all this holiday crap, and of course don't we know that in December my health always takes a dive. I know about it, and can't really stop it. At least I haven't been in the hospital, which is always a boon. I just get de-motivated and absorbed easily in escapism like World of Warcraft and Scrabulous. What?? Warcraft got flagged by the spell checker. That's kind of ironic that a "spell" checker would catch a magical game as not being a word...

This holiday season I actually had greeting cards made, decorated a tree, had a party, and gave out gifts at the office. I think I was trying a bit too hard, but again it's working to keep my head above water and if I simulate cheer I may actually feel something. Of course that does not always work, but what can a girl do.

*****update*******

I have lost my digital camera someplace. I really hope it's in the car but the man and I have searched high and low and even through laundry, and cannot find it.

*****end of update, back to blogging******

I'm sort of bummed now because I promised a picture of my new pirate-knitter shirt to someone and I dislike not keeping my promises. So I'll tell you about it - and provide a link to the shirt, and you can imagine me wearing it. :)

***LINK TO MY X-MAS PRESENT, THE AWESOMEST SHIRT EVER***

I have the female version, which is probably thinner cotton than the men's version, and sticks to every single curve, good and bad. So I must wear it under a sweater or I'm scaring the kiddies. And, you know - having men throw dollar bills at me when I walk down the street is NEVER a good thing. No, seriously, it's not.

Speaking of knitting and yarrrrrn, I have been quite prolific lately with regard to Ye Craft, as we pirates like to call it. I worked up some snazz-A mittens and have begun work on a fairly complicated scarf, which I've had to re-knit three times because like I mentioned before it's fairly complicated. However! It will be worth the effort, because it's a damn fine pattern with twisties and turnies and flippies and such. No plain ol' knitting for me, no sirree.

I've actually been doing quite a lot that has nothing to do with an online life lately. I've been cooking, and cleaning, and re-arranging things, as well as doing nice things for others. Of course the man is still doing my laundry, but I have been working hard elsewhere, so it's fairly even-handed with housework. And, AND!! I've been job-hunting like crazy as well. I think (hope) that area of my life improves. I take a test next Saturday for the State administrative areas, and any of those jobs would be an improvement over what I'm doing now. I'm so sick of being defined by my job, which doesn't pay all that well and drives me bonkers. I always get asked what I do, and if I don't immediately talk about work then people are freaked out. What?? You knit?? But what do you DO??? Warcraft? What's that?? But what do you DO???? You're a writer and you love to travel?? But what do you DO?????????

Fuck that shit. As soon as I break down and tell them I work for people with disabilities I'm immediately categorized as someone with ultimate patience, kindness, and heart. Like I said, fuck that. I want to say that I'm a fucking secretary before I tell them I fucking HELP people. Because you know what happens then, right?? Every fucking person decides that I'm really excited to hear about their fucking disabled brother's cousin's nephew, and isn't so sad, but you're such a good person for doing that in a field where nobody gives a shit except when their own family member needs a hand, and fuck everyone else when their property taxes need to pay for it.

I fucking wash dishes, motherfucker. Which is why I have HOBBIES and INTERESTS that don't revolve around WHAT I FUCKING DO FOR A LIVING. And, I don't give one rat's ass about your brother's cousin's fucking nephew. My own little brother with fetal alcohol syndrome who couldn't tie his fucking shoes is in Iraq. Tell me about how you voted Republican, asshole, and I'll tell you about how my clients can't afford food because they can't keep a job because funding was cut for non-profits like the Humane Society and they have to staff the goddamn place with Prison Release convicts, and even if my clients do work they have their benefits taken away from them. Go ahead, asshole, and tell me you are in the fucking moral majority with your asshole christian values, when I take a client to the food pantry and I'm the one who fucking qualifies for it because the voters decided that what I do isn't important enough to pay a living wage?? Tell me about how you fucking support the military when the soldiers have to apply for fucking food stamps to survive on that pay??

Tell me again you're surprised I want to hear this shit because I have a good heart to do what I do. It's more correct to say that I cannot do what I do without drinking myself to sleep every night. When I don't do that I have terrible insomnia and sometimes it lasts for weeks. I need to shake this off. Warcraft, anyone?

An Important Message

And a side note: this is Cafe Montmartre here in town, and the barstool that Chad Vader is on is the one where I was sitting the night I met my honey back in November of 2004.

Happy New Year!!

holiday cheer

Merry Effin Christmas, Motherfucker!

Addiction: It's not pretty.

Facebook, and through Facebook: Scrabulous. My fucking god I'm addicted. And I'm not even winning!

WTF Moment of the Week

I should enjoy this - but I'm annoyed.

A better Winter post. :)

My tree seriously kicks ass.

And, a daytime shot to show off the decorations.

The man and I are so happy, and the alcohol had nothing to do with it.

This is what winter should be like: fun, and snowy, and fun!!

You would not believe this crap! I mean snow.

I awoke today with a cramping headache that told me the weather was bad, and it turned out that my car, my house, and my street were coated in ICE, and it wasn't getting better. I had a client to take out for groceries, and if she was going to eat I couldn't lie abed all day. I have the luckiness of having a fantastic, coffee-brewing, car-scraping honey who even warmed up the car while I showered, or I'd never have left the house.

I slid around the roads and got my appointment done just in time for the snow to begin in earnest. It's blizzarding now (and not in a fun, Warcraft kind of way), and I sincerely hope the ploughs come through before I have to leave the office.

The good news is that I made the most amazing chipotle-lentil soup last night, and besides the vegetarian hot dog pieces (don't ask) it's really damn good. I was going for the flavor of chorizo without actually putting that disgusting goo into my mix. I used a ton of chili powder and fresh garlic and onion, as well as cilantro and scallions. I added some brown rice to round it out and along with the Veracruz-style boiled egg I'm in tastebud heaven.

Can it get any better? ;)

My guy and I were in a little place on Newport ave called Bravos - we go there every time we're in town. They have the most amazing food in San Diego. I think it's something to do with the flour tortillas.

Where hath Ye TidalGrrrl been?

I'll give you one clue:

I did NOT fix these results.

Your Inner European is Dutch!

Open minded and tolerant. You're up for just about anything.

Who's Your Inner European?


And, the honey is:

Your Inner European is Spanish!

Energetic and lively. You bring the party with you!

Who's Your Inner European?

And, we're in the rainy southern california weather today with internets and coffee. Huh.

Back to Work Monday. No Further Comment.

Feminism Friday

It's nice to revisit this speech once in a while. I love Joss.

See This Movie.

Girl 27 is a recent documentary about the Hollywood rape of an underage studio dancer after she and over a hundred other girls were costumed and tricked into attending an MGM sales conference in 1937.

She brought a suit against MGM in California state court, and after that was dismissed she brought another suit in US federal court. That got dismissed as well. After that, she just fell off the radar and was never heard from again.

I was unhappy with the egomaniacal director's insertion of himself in the movie, but just the fact that he got this poor woman's story TOLD makes it possible to forgive that. He spent over ten years trying to get all of the information, and tracking down people involved, including the victim herself who never spoke about it in 65 years, even to her own family.

It was incredible to hear to what lengths the movie studio went to hush the story, and about their own investigation that never cast doubt on what she told everyone had happened. They never denied it in the file they had on her, but vilified her in the press and in court. They had everyone on their massive payroll including the police, the jury, the prosecutor, the doctor that treated her, the eyewitness, her own lawyer, her mother (acting guardian) and even the rapist continued to work for them until his death 20 years later. The story just went away.

The documentary shows some contrast to that by telling some other Hollywood stories where the stars were protected forever despite general knowledge to the contrary about their secrets. There are some over-the-top uses of black and white movie depiction of violence toward women and sound bites played over and over of film screams, but some of that lent a real feeling of how things ran in Studio Hollywood in 1937.

I could not stop watching this movie. It was riveting, especially the second half when the director gets to the meat of the story: the woman telling her side of it. She was destroyed by what happened to her before and after the horrific attack at MGM's sales conference. Her family never knew why she was so broken until they read about it in Vanity Fair, and that was barely a week before she died. This story needed to be told, this woman needed vindication, and even through the director's poor handling that is what she got. May she finally rest in peace.

I love her, I fucking love her. (h.t. Feministing)

My honey fucking rocks too. He helped me center the video. Yeah yeah big deal, but I couldn't do it alone.

the bearer of bad news

Why is it that people with disabilities and their caregivers are not valued in our society? Most people with disabilities are active and productive members of their communities. Most people with disabilities refuse to be categorized by their disability, but it is the only descriptive most of them receive. When I say what I do for a living, I am almost always asked whether my clients are mentally or physically disabled. It is a hard question to answer because every person is different, and I cannot classify everyone as having exact disabilities as everyone else. It is a loaded question and people ask me because they are curious. It has been my experience that an average person on the street equates disability with every disability he has ever heard of. If I answer that I have a wide range of clients I can see confusion reign in that person's eyes. He or she wants to classify what I do in comparison with other jobs with other people with disabilities he or she has heard of. The problem is that it is not that simple.

Just as in the pool of population of those without disabilities, people are individuals. I can say that I have a client who was born with an injury to the spinal cord and so has symptoms of Cerebral Palsy. Ok, but I have three clients who were born with injuries to the spinal cord and have symptoms of Cerebral Palsy. They are so completely different that it is not even fair to compare them, except that they use adaptive equipment within their homes and communities. Ok, but I have four clients that use adaptive equipment within their homes and communities, and only two of the four have Cerebral Palsy. Do you see where I am going with this? The people I work with have jobs and families, are aged 27 - 76 and all ages in between, and they can't be classified into a box that fits into casual conversation!

So, what do we do with these individuals who already make a contribution to their communities via jobs and volunteering, and in one case providing a source of historical knowledge for an entire town by writing a book about it?

The answer has been to defund the programs that help them make their way in the world as productive citizens. As in the cases of a lot of what we consider non-disabled people, they need very little to a lot of help, depending on their system of support. I would not be where I am now, working for a living, supporting myself in an apartment, and helping others in a caregiver role if I did not have the help of my community. No one said to me as I lay in hospital dealing with my own disability, that they were withdrawing support for me because they could not afford it. In my case it was the love of friends and family that got me through and helped me recover from that round. In the case of my clients it is the withdrawal of necessary funds to provide them with caring staff to help them move ahead despite their disability.

I am a taxpayer. I vote for those who would raise my taxes to help fund programs like the one that funds my agency. There are those, however, in my community, who balk at property tax going up a few dollars, and so they decide, with their votes, to leave my clients, my staff, and myself without a way to do what we need to do.

I make very little money, and in fact I make less now than when I began working here four years ago. If I did not have insurance and a flexible schedule I would have had to find other work long ago. This year's budget cut was 4.8%, and at this rate my insurance rates will go up again, and if we have to cut staff again my caseload could increase, or disappear completely if I am the one to be let go. That would cut deeply into my flexible schedule that I need in order to do my job, and in order to accomodate my own illness.

So today I had to tell someone that she has to lose some of the precious help she receives because our agency could not absorb the cost of providing that help to her as she cares for her daughter at home. Some times my job really sucks.

the truth is out!

Shit!! Who told??? It's like...they *know* me, or something.

You Are a a Margarita Woman

You live most of your life in "Margaritaville", and everyone who knows you knows it. You can party with the best of them - and you're really up for anything! You're the type who's most likely to do body shots or enter a bikini contest. You prefer to date a man as lively as you are... he has to keep up!

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

It's on!! NaNoWriMo 2007

Let's see how I do this year. I'm all caffeinated up and loaded for bear.

It's that time again, bitches!

GIVE BLOOD @ THE RED CROSS!! HAS IT BEEN 56 DAYS??

LOCATION: BH.Madison East Fixed Site
ADDRESS:
Madison WI 53704
DATE: Friday, November 2nd, 2007
TIME: 08:15 AM
PHONE: 1-800-GIVE LIFE

You know the man and I are going this Friday. Have you made your appointment yet? Well, have you? Won't somebody pleeeeeeeeeeeease think of the children??


UPDATE: Veni, Vedi, Veiny. We did ok, and got a free bag of bagels besides. I swear, that Red Cross is way over the line friendly.

just thinking over some chili

Pretty good chili, too. Trader Joe's vegetarian plus some zucchini I cooked up and threw in. With organic white corn chips and a frosty can of pepsi you could say my lunch was almost perfect. I say almost perfect because there isn't any sex after. Well, later. And maybe some mint-cookie Ben and Jerry's. And, Netflix tells me that I have more Season one of Monk waiting at home for me. That should be a great night. Do I need beer? No, I still have shitloads of booze and mixer left over from last weeks' kickass party.

So last night I went out to the old timey gangster bar near where I work and as I stood warming my hands at the fire I looked up at the giant photo of Al Capone and was comforted somehow. This place used to be a great hangout during the Prohibition, and it still has cheap fucking drinks and a good atmosphere. They have a cd jukebox with Ben Folds on it, for fuck's sake, how can they go wrong?

Some of the gals from work, a random boyfriend or two, and a friend of a friend showed up for drinks. I like a mellow time out and that was it. I was talking with the new girl about losing a parent, and she waxed on fairly heavily about how hard it would be to lose her mother because she's the best mom, so perfect, etc. - and I started thinking about how that has nothing to do with how much losing a parent hurts. I couldn't stand my mother and we fought constantly until almost the end of her life. She was the shittiest parent imaginable, and yet when she died I completely lost my shit for a long long time and still I miss her. And what I miss is not her potential for being a good mother, because I gave up on that particular wish when I was still in grade school. I knew better.

I believe that it really really sucks to lose a mom no matter how fucking horrendously she parented. I can imagine Christina Crawford had a hard time when her mother died, and can you imagine a worse parent than Mommy Dearest? If you never met my mother then probably not.

My mother's birthday would have been on the 23rd, so she's on my mind a bit more right now.

Fan-fucking Tastic

There are so many things about this job that drive me nuts. If I go through the entire list you can imagine the sound of my head exploding. This morning at our bi-weekly all-staff meeting (which isn't all staff, just management and the rsc's like me, so wtf is up with that name?) we got the same old boring schtick about filling out our schedules, getting paperwork in on time, and to top off the lecture my boss (not my direct supervisor, but the main boss) says that she wants us to spend more time in the office because we're not...connecting...enough. What? How the hell are we supposed to do that when the very nature of our job requires that we are all over town and back, all day, doing myriad useless things for other people? How many times do I have to run over to the fucking pharmacy to straighten out a mess, then drive 15 miles there and back to deliver the meds? Yeah, lady, we're going to be able to do our jobs AND make time to sit inside a cubicle for no other reason except that you're feeling lonely? Boo fucking hoo. Nobody said anything at the time but I could sense the general wtf of the moment loud and clear. Most of us have too much on our caseloads to even think about going to the office just to fucking go there without a reason.
Now, if the recruitment was under control and there were fewer openings that we as supervisors had to cover then perhaps we might consider making time to hang out with the same people who make our lives miserable on a daily basis. Did I mention yet that I had to go to cover a shift on Sunday fucking morning because we don't have enough staff? And, we don't have enough staff because the funding for what we do has been cut to shit and people don't want to work for peanuts taking care of people and wiping asses. Personally I haven't had a raise in four years - but I have spent holidays wiping asses because there was no one else to do it.

It's not like I can't survive on what I make, even though I've taken pay cuts every year since I started working - but it sure would help me feel more valued if well, I got actually paid for what I do, and not less than when I was hired. That only forces me to cut corners wherever I can, and I do only what is expected and not one thing more. I stopped doing the company newsletter because, well, fuck them, and I only do the basics of the job now. When I am pressed to do more I just refuse. Why? Well, fuck them. I make less than $700 a paycheck. They can kiss my ass.
I'm not angry, just pragmatic. I do what I have to do, and not one thing more. I won't get a new job simply because this one has very flexible hours. I can adjust my time as I need to, and take long lunches, and let's face it, except for dealing with staffing issues it's not that difficult of a position. If the hardest thing I have to do all week is handle other people's bullshit, then you know, it's okay.

Seriously Fucking Hilarious, and isn't that Wolverine?

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Fun with Wikipedia

I'm so glad that Glenn Assclown Beck has decided that people living in the most Republican areas of California "hate America" and therefore have houses on fire right now.

People are having fun with his Wiki page now. ;)

In an interview with Deepak Chopra that aired on August 18, 2007, Beck mentioned that his father told him several times as he was growing up that the five most important words in the English language are, "I have an enormous ass." If the camera angles are to be believed clearly Beck has an enormous ass.

Baaaaad is Gooooood....! (well, duh)

So I was stumbling around Yahoo instead of working, and discovered the GREATEST top 10 list of all time. So what's my opinion of it? Let's see: The top 10 bad things that are actually good for me? And what am I doing about it?

10. BEER! "new research has suggested that moderate beer intake can actually improve cardiovascular function"

Well cool. I like most beer *not* made by large american distributors who use preservatives that give me immediate migraines. I've found that beer makes me sleep better, feel better, and wow, it can really wash down the nachos.

9. ANGER! "bursts of anger here and there are good for the health, and can be an even more effective coping mechanism than becoming afraid, irritated or disgusted"

Do I even need to address this one? Read the fucking title of the blog, bitches!
Hey. I feel better already!

8. COFFEE! "coffee is a major source of antioxidants in our diet and can help lower your risk of diabetes. Something in the beans is also thought to ease the onset of cirrhosis of the liver and pancreatitis"

This one's awesome. They don't mention having a Java Puta to lovingly grind the beans and then bring a steaming mug to you in bed before you have to face the day. I seriously love that trait in my significant other. That has earned him many many MANY sexual favors. Well, okay, I'd do that anyway. But I sure can't function without my coffee, so I'm glad it's good for me.

7. LSD! "In heavy drinkers, small doses of LSD have been thought to help bypass the rock-bottom stage of alcoholism and prevent relapses. A recent study of 36 volunteers who took an LSD-like drug in a lab setting had them reporting mystical experiences and behavior changes that lasted for weeks"

WTF? Well, all right. If I have to, I will. Just kidding. Actually I have taken loads of this drug in my lifetime, and I can attest to one binge that left me seeing visions and I had weird physical tics and behaviors (like karate hands, wtf?) for weeks after. I haven't done it in a long time and it's not on my list. I'm glad it helps alcoholics. I wonder if their cardiovascular health is good from the drinking? Huh.

6. SUNLIGHT! "Sunlight suppressed the immune reactions that cause asthma in some lab studies with mice and could be used to treat humans afflicted with the disease in the future. And sunlight--even if indirect, such as on a shaded porch--is known to boost the mood"

I'm not one to attribute animal studies to actual human conditions since we're light years away in DNA, and well, different as hell physiologically, but hey! Sunlight is pretty essential to my mood, and after I stopped tanning I noticed a steep decline in my innate cheerful fucking attitude. Yes, I am cheerful, fucker! And hey, people need to breathe, right? I hope they figure out a way to help asthmatics with UV the way they did in that town in Norway where all the people were committing suicide from the short days.

5. MAGGOTS! "Placed on serious wounds, maggots mimic their "wild" lifestyle and munch on bacteria and dead tissue, stimulating healing and helping to prevent infection"

EW!! Well apparently those Barbers in the Dark Ages knew a thing or two. I don't remember what book I was reading but it was a time-travel thing and the heroine went back to the past and just about freaked out that they were using maggots on a wound, and then she saw that it actually worked and it was copacetic once again. I wish I knew what the book was, but I read so many that I can't keep track. Bill got me started on Barbara Hambly's vampire books. Those are pretty fun, and I really like the subtle humor.

4. MARIJUANA! "Recent studies on mice suggest that anti-inflammatories found in the drug prevent the clumping of brain proteins, one major cause of [Alzheimer's]"

Ok. The study was on mice again, it might as well have been on a small group of people that wouldn't really represent any large section of the population. But you know - pot has been proven to help with nausea and stomach cramps, and sometimes it helps my mood as well. If I have enough of #8 then I don't even get sleepy!

3. RED WINE! "The key... is an antioxidant found specifically in the skin of red wine grapes, called resveratrol. The latest studies even link resveratrol to greater endurance, a reduction in gum disease and Alzheimer's"

Well this is fine - I like some red wine - but it dyes my teeth purple and I'm allergic to so much of it. It's all right if it's foreign - but those California reds are pure hell on my system. Firstly my jaw starts to lock up, my throat aches, and then I go into migraine full-bore. I'll stay away from the red wine, thanks.

2. CHOCOLATE! "study after study lately has touted the magical benefits of the indulgent treat, which is packed with the antioxidant flavonols that prevent certain cancers and keep your arteries from clogging. The most recent news? These powerful chemicals may even increase blood flow to the brain, warding off dementia"

Do I even have to say that I take advantage of this one? Chocolate is one of my favorite indulgences. Not only will it stave off dementia - but it will help the blood flow to my brain that I cut off by using #4!

1. SEX! "having sex is an easy way to reduce stress, lower cholesterol and improve circulation throughout the body"

No Comment.

...heh heh heh...

ramblin...ramble on....

I'm a little unsure about what my next move should be. I've been fighting off depression for months now, and it's beginning to lift, but I'm in a rut now that I'm wondering how to get out of. And my writing has been stagnant to nonexistant and NaNoWriMo is starting November 1st. That means I have to get on the fucking stick and start planning my novel. I don't know if I can do 50K words this year. Last year I think I got to 12K - which isn't even half of the goal.
It's cooler out and getting moreso, which means there are a lot of knitting projects on the table. I finally admitted to myself that I was not going to play the guitar, so that's one less thing.
I hate my job, but with the market the way it is I don't see changes there happening very soon. I have been a slug and feeling sick a lot so of course I'm up 15 pounds, and so the gym has to be put back on my list. Besides, my clothes don't fit and that just annoys the fuck out of me. I cannot buy a whole new wardrobe just because I can't control my munchies and I haven't been back to work out in a while. I did cut out all meat from the diet and I'm getting better at adjusting back to a veggie lifestyle. I'm sure that will help - and I am making more meals at home now that I have options and have learned some simple recipes.
I think my brain is recovering and I'm sleeping better (beer + benadryl rocks) and I know that's going to improve my outlook as well.
Now I just have to keep on moving upward and onward. I had no idea I could sink so low for so long! Depression sucks. But! Depression meds suck so much more, so it'll have to continue to be all natural cures for me.

Dad & the fam are good.

Update:

They managed to pack up the truck with important stuff and took 78 across to 5 and then headed south and then back east towards La Mesa. They are with my step-mother's sister now, and out of the line of fire. Dad was pissed that he didn't get to work on his canoe today - and I hope the pets are okay - he had to leave them all behind. He said the smoke was very thick and it was almost impossible to see on the freeway - but everyone is safe. He didn't mention my sister so I assume she's with her boyfriend someplace safe.


View Larger Map

Update:

10-22-07 9:23 a.m.

Mandatory evacuations have been ordered for Escondido in the Bear Valley/78 area.

Evacuation points have been established at San Marcos High School at 1615 W. San Marcos Blvd. and Poway Civic Center at 13325 Civic Center Drive.

Mandatory evacuations have also been ordered for the Harris Fire near Honey Springs Road and Lyons Valley Road and all areas to the east toward Cleveland National Forest.

Emergency officials are reminding residents to limit cell phone calls and use major highways for emergencies only.

San Diego wildfires

I'm keeping an eye on the news website, and they put up this picture: and the area just north of the letter "y" of Del Dios Hwy is my dad's house. I can't get an answer from the house or on his cell. I hope he lets me know something soon.

Something is lifting.

I woke up yesterday and I felt...normal. I *really* had forgotten what normal (for me) felt like. It's pretty damn different than how I've been. Maybe it's my health, or the weather, or something, but it has been so hard to write, or do much of anything. I'm sure I need a vacation, but normally I don't get so influenced by stress, if that's what it has been. There's really nothing wrong in my life to make me down or forgetful, or whatever it has been. I know my sleep's been off, and I haven't had much of a work OR sex drive.

I hope my current upward trend in mood continues.

Good things are fucking happening!

I don't know if anyone recalls the fucked-up tanning booth peeping tom from last year, but I do! He was busted spying on me in the booth, and I had his ass arrested and charged with Disorderly Conduct. Well, after months and months - he's been found GUILTY, and ordered to pay me for the part of my tanning package I didn't use because well, it wasn't like I could go BACK, right?

Part two! My dsl problems are over after a year and a half. It turns out that it was the voice portion of the line, and a guy FINALLY went up the pole to replace a bunch of wires and stuff, and it works. I've had repairmen out over 12 times in the past year, and finally it's FIXED. I was getting really sick of the telephone people telling me it was all in my head because it was an intermittent problem. I was about to give up and go for cable. But I hate cable! I don't even watch tv, and I hate the cable monopoly that charges for bullshit because they can (I've worked with them for my clients who all have cable and I've watched them get screwed over).

So!! Internet works, and the peeping tom asshole that I HOPE went blind from seeing me nekkid has been found guilty and will pay me restitution. HAHAHAHAH!!

It's a good fucking day. I'll talk about the 3 day migraine another time. :P

Damn. I may have to get off my ass now.

Note that the ENTIRE study group was 32 people. That's hardly a solid study. I hate these lame-ass statistics that try to prove points with barely any data. I can exercise when I feel good. If I wake up with aching anything I can bet you that I'll be more than happy to lie abed with a mug of coffee until I feel like getting up. ;)

"Light exercise may be good for Crohn's disease

Canadian researchers found that for people with mild Crohn's disease, taking a walk a few times per week helped boost their well-being and quality of life.

There has been some concern that exercise could exacerbate these problems because of its potential effects on functioning in the digestive tract. However, studies have not shown this to be true.

For the new study, Victor Ng and colleagues at the University of Western Ontario recruited 32 adults with Crohn's disease. All were either in remission or were suffering only mild symptoms.

Though some doctors have been hesitant to recommend exercise for Crohn's disease, light exercise like moderate walking is unlikely to have significant effects on patients' intestinal function, Millard noted.

That being said, however, Millard cautioned that this and other studies of exercise and Crohn's disease have included only patients in remission or with mild symptoms.

"Patients with moderate or severe symptoms of their Crohn's disease should not engage in an exercise program until their symptoms are better controlled," she advised."

Simpson-ized

I cannot stop watching this.

484 posts? I deserve a little sugar.






(I'll just let that sink in a minute)




Who is that beautiful man, you ask? Well, where the hell have you been? That's David Tennant, Scotsman, star of Doctor Who: Seasons 2 & 3. And, wow.
Now if I could just see him in a kilt I'd die a happy woman.

Happy fucking Monday, y'all!

Who needs a friday for a happy mashup? I don't know who did this (VJ Jaren is on the YouTube piece), but wow, it just made me happy. I love the Cure, always have, and Missy Elliott really epitomizes a strong female image in hip hop. She's the one who said - Don't have a cellular? It's all right...Don't have a gun? It's all right.... Making money, legally? It's okay....
Yep. I like her. Talented, strong, and in the face of everyone who says it can't be done.

Bat for Lashes

This is great. I seldom hear new music that I really like, and I stick with my old standbys. Also, the music world is overrun with men. Actually - the world is overrun with men. Lets see less of that.

Stout for health?

I was reading the BBC and came across this article about the health claims of Guinness being proven by some folks in Wisconsin. Why am I not surprised?
We in Wisconsin knows our beers, youse. What I didn't know, however, was that Guinness is so high in iron. I'm getting more and more anemic - I know the answer now! I've never typically enjoyed Guinness except when it's on tap in the UK, but I am revising my outlook.

Drink up, yo!

Overheard in NY - a good chuckler.

Splenda's Actually Sugar with Augmented Breasts and No Pubes

Chick #1: I always use Equal.

Chick #2: Why?

Chick #1: Well, I like to think of Equal as the women's lib of sweetener.

Chick #2: So... What does that make Sweet'N Low? The pre-lib? Feminine mystique?

Chick #1: Yeah... Just look at it -- pink and pretty, sweet, and bowed low. C'mon. It's like, 'Hey, ladies, be sweet and pink for your man -- use Sweet'N Low and stay in shape and he'll love you more!' Then there's Equal -- it's blue, it's bold, it demands attention. It says, 'Yeah, we're an artificial sweetener, marketed towards women, but we're equal!'

Chick #2: Um... Okay, so what does that make Splenda?

Chick #1: I guess post-lib feminism?

Chick #2: Uh, I don't even know what that is...

Chick #1: Well, see, Splenda's in court now because apparently neither does anyone else.

Chick #2: Wow... The history of feminism, as interpreted by Deborah, through artificial sweetener... I don't think I was ready for that at eight in the morning on a Thursday.

Chick #1: Yeah... But that was the only time it was gonna happen.

--71st & West End

Something new in Crohn's research!

Holy shit. Do you think this means they might find a way to cure me finally? I fucking hope so. I'm sick of this disease and all that it entails. I'm sick of the cramps, and the migraines, and the soreness, and the tiredness, and the joint pain, and the diarrhea, and the food intolerance. I just want to be normal again one day. That's it.

Novel Intestinal E. Coli Linked to Crohn's Disease

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) Aug 21 -- A selective increase in a novel type of invasive Escherichia coli relative to depletion of Clostridial species appears to be involved in the etiology of Crohn's disease, according to a report in the July 12th issue of the ISME Journal: Multidisciplinary Journal of Microbial Ecology.

In the study, Dr. Kenneth W. Simpson, from Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, and colleagues used DNA analysis to compare the ileal microbial flora of patients with ileum-involved or colon-only Crohn's disease and of healthy subjects.

Compared with the other groups, the ileum-involved Crohn's group showed an increase in E. coli species and decrease in Clostridiales. Moreover, the severity of the ileitis was directly related to the number of E. coli present. Lastly, only invasive species of E. coli were found in inflamed mucosa.

Further analysis showed that the invasive E. coli exhibited novel phylogeny with characteristics similar to that of extraintestinal pathogenic E. coli and Enterobacteriaceae.

"Our findings raise the possibility that a novel group of E. coli contains opportunistic pathogens that may be causally related to chronic intestinal inflammation in susceptible individuals," Dr. Simpson said in a statement. "They suggest that an integrated approach that considers an individual's mucosa-associated flora in addition to disease phenotype and genotype may improve outcome."

Date Posted: August 22, 2007

in response to "gray rape"

No, I'm not your mother. Look it up.

“With No Immediate Cause”, Ntozake Shange

every 3 minutes a woman is beaten
every five minutes a
woman is raped/every ten minutes
a lil girl is molested
yet i rode the subway today
i sat next to an old man who
may have beaten his old wife
3 minutes ago or 3 days/30 years ago
he might have sodomized his
daughter but i sat there
cuz the young men on the train
might beat some young women
later in the day or tomorrow
i might not shut my door fast
every 3 minutes it happens
some woman’s innocence
rushes to her cheeks/pours from her mouth
like the betsy wetsy dolls have been torn
apart/their mouths
menses red & split/every
three minutes a shoulder
is jammed through plaster and the oven door/
chairs push thru the rib cage/hot water or
boiling sperm decorate her body
i rode the subway today
& bought a paper from a
man who might
have held his old lady onto
a hot pressing iron/i don’t know
maybe he catches lil girls in the
park & rips open their behinds
with steel rods/i can’t decide
what he might have done i only
know every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes every 10 minutes/so
i bought the paper
looking for the announcement
the discovery/of the dismembered
woman’s body/the
victims have not all been
identified/today they are
naked and dead/refuse to
testify/one girl out of 10’s not
coherent/i took the coffee
& spit it up/i found an
announcement/not the woman’s
bloated body in the river/floating
not the child bleeding in the
59th street corridor/not the baby
broken on the floor/
there is some concern
that alleged battered women
might start to murder their
husbands & lovers with no
immediate cause”

i spit up i vomit i am screaming
we all have immediate cause
every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes
every 10 minutes
every day
women’s bodies are found
in alleys & bedrooms/at the top of the stairs
before i ride the subway/buy a paper/drink
coffee/i must know/
have you hurt a woman today
did you beat a woman today
throw a child across a room
are the lil girl’s panties
in yr pocket

did you hurt a woman today
i have to ask these obscene questions
the authorities require me to
establish
immediate cause
every three minutes
every five minutes
every ten minutes
every day.

You're saying to yourself, "wow, the TG seems quite angry these days, when she bothers to show up at all." Consider this my existential crisis.

and the winner is...

I visited this site - you can too! I was not surprised by the results. I really wish more progressive people knew that Kucinich supports their ideals. And to the unelectable argument? Fuck you. A person becomes electable when people VOTE for him or her.

Kucinich 89
No Child Left Behind

Gravel 78
(you have no disagreements with this candidate)

Richardson 49
Death Penalty, Assault Weapons Ban, Patriot Act, Iran - Military Action, Same-Sex Marriage

Obama 46
Patriot Act, Border Fence, Same-Sex Marriage

Edwards 45
Death Penalty, No Child Left Behind, Patriot Act, Iran - Military Action, Same-Sex Marriage

Clinton 45
Death Penalty, No Child Left Behind, Patriot Act, Border Fence, Iran - Military Action, Same-Sex Marriage

Dodd 40
Death Penalty, No Child Left Behind, Patriot Act, Border Fence, Iran - Military Action

Biden 35
Death Penalty, No Child Left Behind, Patriot Act, Border Fence, Same-Sex Marriage

Paul 10
Abortion Rights, Embryonic Stem Cells, ANWR Drilling, Kyoto, Assault Weapons Ban, Guns - Background Checks, Citizenship Path for Illegals, Border Fence, Net Neutrality, Minimum Wage Increase, Same-Sex Marriage, Universal Healthcare

McCain -36
Thompson -39
Cox -41
Giuliani -43
Brownback -45
Huckabee -55
Tancredo -72
Hunter -81
Romney -83

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where have I been? Well - too depressed to write, and then went to Chicago for the better part of the week. That was fun.

this is why I used to be a smoker.

Y'know, besides the fact that it was terrible for me and I had a death wish. Ok, not a specific one, but I haven't always treated myself nicely.
Back to the story.
I gave a staff person her yearly review and there were some issues that I had to talk over with her because the client was unhappy. When the client would ask for help this staff person made her wait, and that was really ticking off the client. I brought it up to the staff person, and she was shocked, because according to her, she was TRAINED that way by another staff person!! So, it turned out that this other staff person trained the new person to be passive-aggressive with the client, so that she would "learn to be less demanding," and "realize that her staff are busy people who can't immediately come running when called."

Well WTF are they there for if not to come running when the client needs help?? Fuck!

So, problem solved with the new staff person, but goddamn it, I'm going to fucking ROAST the other person. I'd like to do more than a written warning, but I'm so sick of this kind of shit going on in my houses. Passive-aggressive, gossipy shit that nobody needs to deal with.

Besides my staffing issues a new landlord deposited the rent check of another client two days early, despite being asked in WRITING and VERBALLY to wait until her benefit checks went in. This resulted in a $31 overdraft fee for the client, who really can't fucking afford it. My supervisor is calling the rental agency to try to get them to waive $31 off next month's rent because of their mistake.

Question!

So I wuz readin another blog and my honey says this: "He reminds me that I am myself a World Of Warcraft Widower, and I want the goddamn TShirt. "

Anyone have any ideas of where I'd get one of these?

Ok, I was curious.

Amanda wrote a post over at Pandagon that made me wonder wtf a "neg" was, really. So I looked it up, and found this.

I need a shower now.

This is kinda cool. I'm AB+ (via the Wiki)

ABO and Rh distribution by nation

ABO and Rh blood type distribution by nation (averages for each population)

Population	O+	A+	B+	AB+	O−	A−	B−	AB−
Australia[11]	40%	31%	8%	2%	9%	7%	2%	1%
Belgium[12]	38%	34%	8.5%	4.1%	7%	6%	1.5%	0.8%
Canada[13]	39%	36%	7.6%	2.5%	7%	6%	1.4%	0.5%
Denmark[14]	35%	37%	8%	4%	6%	7%	2%	1%
Finland[15]	27%	38%	15%	7%	4%	6%	2%	1%
France[16]	36%	37%	9%	3%	6%	7%	1%	1%
Hong Kong, China[17]	40%	26%	27%	7%	<0.3%	<0.3%	<0.3%	<0.3%
Korea, South[18]	27.4%	34.4%	26.8%	11.2%	0.1%	0.1%	0.1%	0.05%
Netherlands[19]	39.5%	35%	6.7%	2.5%	7.5%	7%	1.3%	0.5%
Poland[20]	31%	32%	15%	7%	6%	6%	2%	1%
Sweden[21]	32%	37%	10%	5%	6%	7%	2%	1%
UK[22]	37%	35%	8%	3%	7%	7%	2%	1%
USA[23]	38%	34%	9%	3%	7%	6%	2%	1%

All right!! Cause, Fuck Novartis!

(from the BBC): India rejects Novartis challenge

Novartis says patents help innovation

An Indian court has thwarted efforts by Swiss pharmaceuticals firm Novartis to obtain a new patent for a variation of the same drug.

The firm's bid to patent anti-cancer drugs Glivec was rejected because it is a new form of an existing substance.

Novartis said the decision by a Chennai court was "unconstitutional" and broke international laws. But it also said it was unlikely to make an appeal.

India fears that too many patents may threaten availability of cheap drugs.

The country India has developed a range of generic drugs, affordable by the country's poor. If Novartis were to patent more drugs there are fears by advocacy groups that poorer people would not have access to such drugs, and would be priced out of the market.

The Swiss firm said that the ruling, which threw out its appeal, would have long-term negative effects on research into new drugs.

what I'm doing for fun these days...

Bristol Renaissance Faire - I never miss it!



Isn't this man gorgeous? He wanted to be in costume along with us so he got the most beautiful blue shirt. I don't know if the picture does him justice - the blue of the shirt made his baby blues pop.

I got a new shirt for under my bodice, which is too big and kept falling down! I love the shirt, however.

So my friend's fiance is standing with us for the picture and he says, "I don't even know what I'm doing in here," and I said, "Looking like a very lucky man!" So that's the response on his face after I said that. ;)

Could this picture be any cuter? These two are very good friends of mine, and such a wonderful couple.

I was networking here with this woman Elaine who owns a knitting shop and who might have me come and teach a class on Magic Loop technique for socks. Bill told her about my "Swear Like a Knitter" idea for classes, with one of the individual lessons being called "It's just a fucking I-cord!" I want to teach people how to do simple things and not gouge them of all their cash like the other shops in town do. I saw in a brochure a class on how to learn the I-cord and they were charging $60. I was appalled. It takes about five minutes to learn, and I taught myself from a used book from 1978 that didn't even have pictures. Huh.

Such a tragedy...

I35 in Minneapolis, just scant blocks from my old apartment, collapsed yesterday. I couldn't get through to my old roommate and coworker until this morning. Apparently she missed being there by twenty minutes because she was held up at work.
This really upset me. I shouldn't have watched the video, I guess, but it felt like this was happening in my home town. I did live in the Twin Cities for many years so I guess it is as close to home as anywhere else. They still haven't recovered all the bodies from the river. I'm glad more people didn't die. Of course the Republican governor vetoed a bill last year that would help fix bridges. It wouldn't have prevented this collapse, but at least they'd have had the funding to do more research into how unstable these bridges were becoming. It's not a blame game, but it still makes me furious that happened. I'm also furious that Herr Leader Bush used the press conference about the collapsing bridge to go on and on about how the Democratic congress is holding up his spending bill for the illegal occupation of Iraq. It's shameful. Shameful. It's like Katrina all over again, a bunch of white asshole males congratulating each other for doing nothing over the bodies of the dead.

screaming into the abyss

Do you ever have that feeling when you're talking to someone and your face begins to heat up, your skin feels hot, and you want to bash your head into the nearest wall? It's the rise in blood pressure as the result of paroxysms of extreme rage because some fucking moron is trying to fuck up your day. Well this time I at least set things straight, AGAIN, at the pharmacy we use. This fucknut delivery driver attempted to drop off someone's medications at the wrong address, and then argued with me about it. The address was in magic marker on the FRONT of the bag, and he was insisting he drop it off with me, 23 miles away from the address, anyway. Fuck that. I sent him away and called the manager. Again. I hope that fucker gets canned. Apparently the delivery bagger discussed this with him about 20 minutes before he showed up here, and said exactly what I told him, and showed him the address on the bag, and gave him specific instructions. So when I called, pissed off again, she apologized three times and said she's going to the higher management about this one. The driver is obviously trying to pull something over on someone and because I happened to be on scene it didn't happen. He was pissed off at me at the time, and I can bet he'll be even more pissed off that I am getting him in trouble. Fuck him. What an asshole.

CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT????

SENATE PANEL SUBPOENAS ROVE!!!!

Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:15PM EDT

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The chairman of the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee said on Thursday he had subpoenaed two more White House aides, including political adviser Karl Rove, in the probe of fired federal prosecutors.

"This is not a step I take lightly," Sen. Patrick Leahy declared in a Senate speech.

It was yet another salvo in the ongoing dispute with the White House. Congress appears headed toward a court fight with President George W. Bush, who has claimed executive privilege in refusing to provide documents or testimony by current or former aides, now including Rove and deputy political director Jay Jennings.

"For over four months, I've exhausted every avenue, sought the voluntary cooperation of Karl Rove and J. Scott Jennings, but to no avail," Leahy said.

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD ONCE AGAIN.

according to me after a lot of wine

What is this that we call Reality? I hear a lot these days about spiritual v. physical and whether it's better to stay delusional or get with what's solid and before you. I'm not torn about whether there is a deity overseeing us - I'm damn certain that's made up so people will feel reassured about things that they have no control over. That led to religion, which in turn led to fanatics, which in turn led to laws that threaten my autonomy which in turn led to me, Tidalgrrrl, becoming a raving feminist in order to protect myself. Besides that, it's smarter. Feminism is good for everyone.

Now back to the spiritual/physical thing. Since I was a very (and I mean under two years) small child I've been able to see things that aren't really there. Barring lead poisoning or mental illness I figured out, eventually, that these were not on the physical plane. I started seeing things in the daytime as well as the night, and sometimes they were animals or people. Sometimes they were a mixture of both, and boy did that ever send me into fits. I became terrified of the dark, and I still have night terrors related to things I've seen and things that have attacked me (with witnesses sometimes) and left bruises and scratches.

I'm an atheist. I don't believe in a deity - or deities. I get upset that people try to impose their made-up religions on me, but otherwise I figure everyone has his own truth, so I respect that people would like to believe in a god. I used to want to believe too. I thought that there had to be a god if there were spirits, and since there are spirits cause I've seen them, then ergo, a god, right? Ipso Facto. Well, that didn't actually turn out like I thought, and over time I discovered that spirituality doesn't have thing one to do with whether a god or gods exist. Spirits exist, I believe, because of energy. If anything, this energy would speak more of science, and less of god or gods.

I have never understood why I see spirits, or why my father had so many instances growing up where he saw spirits (once of a giant cat), or why my mother could and did predict so many tragedies for her loved ones. I have to think that it's got something to do with tuning. I probably am on a specific wavelength that allows me to see weird shit. Since my parents did too, then I guess I lay blame at their feet. In one case specifically there is a spirit that has been seen by almost every member of my family, and it routinely attacks them at least once before the age of thirteen. My sister seemed to see it as a wolf, and was torn up on her legs with scratches and bites, although a wolf coming into a bedroom in the middle of suburban San Diego with no evidence of entry or exit, but three people seeing and one with wounds - that doesn't sound made up to me. I was too young and didn't see that occasion, but later on I was chased out of that same room and refused to ever sleep there again - and I was two. According to my mom (and my own faulty memory) I saw a man who was hanging from the closet like the cartoon character Spiderman, but real. That still freaks me out sometimes if I think about it too much.

So I'm an atheist who believes in spirituality - at least as an energy thing - because I've seen it. I've been there. If not I don't think I would believe it, and as my Dad says (about one of our homes) he doesn't believe in ghosts - except for that farmhouse!

I've come to the realization that the existence of a god or gods doesn't have a thing to do with where our spirits go when we die. Hell, even when we don't. Astral travel, anyone? I've done it. I don't know how this changes my life, but I wanted to clarify for myself. I don't know if I've done that but if not I guess I'll be writing again.

Hoo Boy

That was a doozy of a mood yesterday. I'm glad I didn't really have to do much except work until late. I had to go over and stay with a couple of guys who needed help with dinner, meds, some personal cares (catheter, etc. , no biggie) and it was pretty relaxing. Normally they have a staff person who lives there and does all that but she was gone on some family emergency thing. The biggest stressor was when the oven wouldn't turn on and I had to cook the chicken for dinner in a pan. WhoaMahGawd, save me. I knitted and watched reality t.v. which was kind of weird for me since I never watch that stuff or even have my boob tube on. I was curious though, about Dog the Bounty Hunter and then the KISS family jewels. I liked both shows, and I also fit in some C.S.I. (Vegas, Grissom, you know it baby).

Long story short I mellowed the fuck out. I can bet you're all relieved.