hate mail

Al Franken may get off on it, but it sure sucks when my own father throws me to the dogs. I didn't edit anything except names. I'm just ready to forget the whole thing and go to Tahiti. What the fuck is the world coming to? Things began with my father sending out a stupid email with pro-warmongering sentiment and severed heads. Some of what is below are responses to the email my dad sent, and some are after the fact.

>>Does anyone know this clown??? why did he cc all of us??

>>Her name came up as [deleted name] and I am guessing she is somehow associated with [deleted name]. Apparently she is trying to share an opposing view to hard core loyal Americans.

>>The original email was from my father, and yes, I decided to respond to his offensive email with a different view. What that has to do with loyalty or lack thereof is beyond me. I pay my taxes just like everyone else.
Ps. I have no idea why he decided to send that out, except to rile people up.

>>This Clown happens to be my Father. And he is a very chatty person who meets a lot of people so he probably got your e-mail somewhere, somehow and thought you would enjoy an e-mail. If you do not know who it is simply delete it there is no need to reply to all and call him out like that, very uncooth. [deleted name] (Son)

>>[deleted name], Your view to this didn't come thru. I'd love to read/hear it. Could you personally email your view to me. Thanks, cuz, [deleted name]in Michigan.. Oh, my email is [deleted email]

>> I got a lots of e mails back like this.It makes me happy I'm a Staunch American.
God Bless George Bush. [deleted name]
>>>How many more Americans must be beheaded before you stop blaming Bush for all your troubles -- and grow some balls for a change.

>> x xx to me
subject: You have a Father????
body: I don't believe it

>> This one made me epically happy. [deleted name]
>>>
[deleted name], I had to reply to that [deleted name] woman,whoever she is and set her straight.I used some profanity to make my point.He was a goddam American vet who served for all our asses in Viet Nam,so whats the fucking problem...

God Bless America and Gen George S. Patton-He knew what the fuck he was doing in WW2,he was no goddam pussy like these assholes today out on the golfcourses talking about how great they are.


Just my point of view dammit!!!!


[deleted name]

>> Oh! BOO! HOO! That is [deleted name] cousin and she called and apologized after she found out it was only me.I am so funny. And witty.and wise.
Only dogs get mad. I pissed a lot of people off. I don't fucking care.
I feel you still belittled me as you always do. It's been 25 years --get over it.
Buck up.
Dad

big fucking baby

jesus christ! My father is such a crybaby for a man his age and experience. Why is it that I didn't get an apology for him sending out an email with severed heads in it? How is it that I am so the bad guy because I "had the balls" to say I did not agree with what he said? How is that disloyal and belittling him? I just think that big crybaby can't take it when people disagree with him. People disagree with me all the time and I don't find the need to cut them down and get others to send out hate mail. I just GET IT that people don't always agree, and even if I'm wrong about something, I don't get all bent out of shape about it.
For fucks sake! He was just telling me on the phone last WEEK how much he hates George Bush and Rush Limbaugh and now he's saying God Bless George W.? WTF kind of hypocritical shit is that?! Fucking HELL I'm so pissed right now. I was amazingly hurt by his infantile email that told me to "get over it." Get over WHAT? Something tells me he's referring to his failure at being a father, and disappearing for years and leaving me with my psycho mother's family to be abused. So he's feeling guilty and thinks I'm the one who needs to "get over it?" His bad behaviour has not one thing to do with my response to the email with the severed heads. He went so far as to say that he didn't mean to send it out to everyone on his list -- but then he still says I belittled him. If he's a FUCKING MORON by email, how is it my fault if he's called out about it? All I do is try to get along with my father, but he makes is SO HARD! He sends me shit emails all the time with fucking American eagles and flags and soldier shit and anti-Liberal insulting to me sentiment and who the fuck knows what else. I delete most of it because I don't WANT to be pissed off at him. So he sends out this shit once more and I'm just supposed to suck it up. Again. Or else. Fuck that!
I'm so sorry that he feels like less of a man because he was a complete failure as a father with me. That is not my fault~! I don't throw it back at him ever. He is the one who thinks everything I do revolves around his failure. I forgave that years ago and now I'm a bitch because he feels guilty yet. I'm the one who visits him, and it's definitely not the other way around. I make the effort to call him, and it's definitely not the other way around. I'm the one who constantly looks beyond his asshole behaviour to try to see the little boy inside of him that was kicked around a lot when he was younger, and give him the benefit of the doubt. I do not have the power to erase every bad thing that ever happened to him, and it's definitely not my fault that his life has not been perfect, and I certainly cannot absolve him of the side effects from his past mistakes. That is his own task. I have enough to worry about without massaging his fucking ego at every turn. I turn a deaf ear constantly to his right-wing fucktard rants, and it wears on me! It seems like every person that has done badly by me now expects me to apologize to them so they can feel better about themselves. I'm so fucking sick of it! My whole family is fucked up and it's not my fault. They have abused me for as long as I can recall and still, it's not my fault. It's the fucking abuser mentality - to make the victim feel like it was her fault. Well it never was, and it's not now. Fuck them.

I'm not going to continue to try to make my dad feel better, because he'll only be more horrible to me. If I continue to fight with him, then he'll only be more horrible to me. I tried to apologize and he threw it back in my face. Well I'm not doing that again, but I'm sure as hell not going to give him more ammo for a fight, either. I can't win here. He's gone off the deep end and nothing I do is going to fix it. He likes being pissed off and having someone to blame for his life. Dammit! I hate this whole thing.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

oh so annoying.

My father. Bah! He really pisses me off sometimes with his knee-jerk neo-con emails. I generally try not to respond but jesus christ, the last one had severed heads involved. I responded with some truth, and now I'm "unpatriotic." Well, shit. I pay my taxes like everyone else, I just don't get on the party boat to Idiotville like millions of other Americans. I really think that people must be ignorant to not see through the lies of the Right by now. I wish everyone wasn't so divided on everything, but it makes me sad to realize that it is so true. People ARE divided, because those of us with brains are reviled as Unpatriotic by those of them with um...shit for brains, and we on the Left (except for Leiberman, the asswipe) think of the Right as well, shit for brains. There really isn't a way out of this that I can see.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

equality fucking now, dammit.

Because Joss Rocks.
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

overheard in NY

Woman: The problem is that men are paradoxically both a reason to be celibate and to have large amounts of sex.

--140th & Broadway

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

furball of lurrrrve

Xerox is feeling better. A few days ago he started puking all over and looked like death. I was really scared for him. $400, tons of blood tests and some subcutaneous injections later he is doing better. Apparently he got an infection around his bladder or pancreas (they aren't sure) and he got septicemia. Poor boy- we almost lost him. I've been by turns (whatever works) giving him pills in treats or scruffing him and dropping them down his throat. He's really made a turnaround. They shaved his neck where they took all the blood for glucose testing, but I'm sure that will grow back soon. I just hope he eventually forgets that I treated him in such a fashion after he trusted me for so long~! The vet thought that he had diabetes, but after more testing he thinks the infection caused insulin resistance that just acted like diabetes. We'll know for sure next Tuesday when they do more blood tests once Xe's had the chance to finish off his antibiotic tablets and get better. The vet was really nice, and I will absolutely go back to that animal hospital. My poor Xe. I was sure he was going to die, and had I not brought him in to get treated, he definitely would have.

:::HAHA Mojo is standing on the table outside the window where I'm sitting and he peeked in the window at me- just this cat head popping up out of nowhere with these wide eyes staring like an alien! He's been chattering at the birds outside the window and I think he was going for another angle. He's going to be so disappointed that he can't get those birds!:::

So Xerox has been following me from room to room ever since he got home from the hospital...this silent gray ghost of a cat wandering around where I am, looking for a place to sleep. I'm just so glad he's better. I had been thinking that since he turned 16 he was just slowing down, but that was not the case. He never got sick before, so I didn't know what to look for. He's not a cat who gets into things or eats what he shouldn't, so I knew he wasn't sick to his stomach. I just thought it was age. Poor baby probably didn't know what to do except lie down and die. He was really good for the vet too. He of course snapped at me when I tried to get him to take a pill, but eventually he started feeling better and wasn't so pissy with me or Mojo, who he let fly with when he got home. Mojo was totally traumatized by that and wouldn't let Xerox anywhere near him for a couple of days. They're doing all right now. Cat memories are short, thank goodness.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

21st Century Fox

That was great. I had a meeting with our office manager where I outlined my ideas for a streamlined, organized 21st-century office. We met for an hour & 1/2 and had a lot of two-way discussion about my ideas. He really liked my ideas, and is going to present them to the team once he's gone over the logistics. Some of them he liked more than I did, which just goes to show that I don't know everything.
Something odd but nice was that he wanted to shake my hand when we were done. He really liked the fact that I took it upon myself to think outside the box and tried to come up with practical ways to save the company money besides cutting payroll & benefits.
It's no mystery or secret that the human services field is going the way of the dodo, and that big money has no thoughts for the common man or those with disabilities. If we don't change the way we work then we're doomed, because we certainly aren't going to have operational costs handed to us by the taxpayers. In California there already has been a breakdown in the system to care for those with disabilities. I remember seeing ads in the paper for helpers and they could not even offer a living wage. One woman wanted to pay $30/day for complete care, including bathing and dressing. There's just no way I could do it, but on the other hand, who was going to help her? There seems to be no option for those people without wealthy families to support them. I could go on forever about this distressing subject, but then I wouldn't be productive here at work. Bah.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

love affair

One of my all-time favorite movies is An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and the red-head, whats-her-name...oh right. Deborah Kerr. Anyhow. That was a remake of Love Affair with Irene Dunn. Then there was the remake in the 90's with Annette Bening, Love Affair. Then, there was mention and homage to the Cary Grant version in Sleepless in Seattle.
My point is that I've seen them all, but the original just today. The dialogue is the same, almost word-for-word, in the first two. What's left out in the original is the cheeseball scene where the orphans are singing some stupid sunday school song and the token black kids do a tap-dance half-way through. Ugh. Both the original in 39 and the remake in 57 had the same director, Leo Carey. After seeing both I think I prefer the original. I really like Carey Grant compared to the actor playing Michel in the original, but Irene Dunn really has it over Deborah Kerr. And I really LIKE Deborah Kerr. However, the cheese aspect is really missing from the original so I like it better. It's infinitely more watchable. The last scene where Michel (Nikki in the 57 remake) discovers that Terry is unable to walk is more touching with Carey Grant in the role, but Irene Dunn played Terry better. Usually I get to where Michel/Nikki goes and finds the painting before I burst into tears, but Irene Dunn is just a better actress than Deborah Kerr and had me at the gift-giving scene with Janou's veil.

Of course, I'm leaving out the 1994 remake altogether, because it sucks ass. Anything with Garry Shandling and Warren Beatty (looking more mechanized and overly plastic-surgeoned all the time) just isn't worth my time. Annette Bening is good, but they re-added the cheese factor with a Campbell's soup commercial where we get to hear her sing Mmmm Mmmm Good about 10 times. Bleh. They almost pulled it out by having Katherine Hepburn play the Janou role, but it did not end up saving the picture. I can't blame them for trying, especially after the success of Sleepless in Seattle and the resurgence of interest in old-fashioned love stories that have nothing to do with "Show me the Money." Yes, I hated Jerry Macguire, so much I'm not even going to link it. They never had me at Hello. If it hadn't been on cable I'd have walked out of the theater. There are very few movies that I dislike that much.

I very much recommend the original Love Affair, but keep in mind that it was a product of it's time. When Terry is in the hospital the "men" are standing outside her room discussing her decision to not tell Michel about her accident. First of all they're smoking in a hospital. Second of all, about her decision not to burden her man with her injury they say things like "sensible girl," and "good for her." In the room she cries to the priest that she was on her way to be a "good girl," when she was hit. She also confesses to him that the man with them is/was her lover, and blah blah she feels guilty and only wanted a marriage and children. I almost threw up. HOWEVER! This WAS written by a man in 1939. For a woman of her time, Terry did very well. Irene Dunn was fabulous. Deborah Kerr didn't do as well, but since I didn't have the original to compare it to, I was happy with that for years.

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"The things we like best are either illegal, immoral or fattening. " - Terry McKay, Love Affair, 1939

grim reaper

Unflinching wasp-killer am I~!

Ok. I flinched a LOT. But I did the deed.

When I went out to drive my CRX to the gas station yesterday (I'm trying to sell it, helps to have enough gas to test drive), I closed the driver's side door and all these wasps came flying out of the mirror right at my face, like something out of a movie. I started screaming and rolled the window up as fast as humanly possible, then rolled up the passenger window as fast as humanly possible, then I GUNNED the car down the street. Jesus! There was a nest in the driver's side window! Well, I was shaking too badly to do anything except go around the block and re-park across the street. I got out the passenger side and just headed for the bar in the OTHER car. Definitely time for drinks, in this case dolla-fitty margaritas. After soothing my shattered nerves with food and drink I went home and got out the wasp spray. The can told me that it will shoot up to 22 feet away(!) but I was still waffling around when Bill rode up on his bike. I made him stand there with me while I got up the nerve to finally shoot the nest. I soaked that fucker until Bill told me to quit, already, and this morning when I moved the mirror I saw a stack of wasps like you wouldn't believe, and an empty (HUGE) nest behind it.
:::breathe:::
Later before the woman comes to see the car I am going to hose the nest out of the window along with all the dead wasps, and hopefully this NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS AGAIN. My heart cannot take it.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

The Chimp got kicked out, wahoo!

This makes me so fucking happy. I love democracy.

Thanks to the Smirking Chimp for the heads up! I know I certainly never heard a word about this.

--
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

let me give credit

It was this site. Thanks for the nudge, even though you didn't do it on purpose. =)

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"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." -John Stewart

disturbing.

I was looking at another blogger's site where he was discussing the misinformation regarding Planned Parenthood's founder, Margaret Sanger. It's all over, and the anti-choice movement has been using it for years. That made me think of the anti-feminist movement and their use of Susan B. Anthony's anti-abortion stance to sell their agenda. I've heard their arguments for years as I volunteered at clinics in California and Minnesota, and worked for PP, NARAL, and WomanCare. I for one, think that enforces the pro-choice argument more than anything else. If a known feminist is anti-choice, isn't that her right to choose that? Convoluted- don't hit me. What I mean to say is..if Susan B. Anthony chose to not have an abortion, can't these other folks do the same? Don't like it, don't have one, right? I get really frustrated with the idea that if one feminist is against abortion, then all feminists had better follow the same tack. The same can be said for atheists. The Christians say that one atheist says he is anti-choice and so the rest of us should follow. Doesn't that go against the general tenet of liberal thought? We don't all follow the same line of thinking, and it's that which makes us able to be individual, yet together. I believe that we can all be different and still support the same causes, which may include feminist ideals. Still again, they may not. See where I'm going with this? Hm. Ideas for a Friday. Ponder and get back to me.

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"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." -John Stewart

Grrrrarrrrrrrghhhhh!

...So! People who deliberately shorten words or use acronyms instead of just saying what the fuck they mean to say...this is a beef I have.  What is so hard about saying "personnel file?" It's now, apparently, "P-file." What is so hard about saying "incident report?" That is, sadly, "I.R." The list continues but I am loath to be the one to continue it. Suffice it to say that it's a very bad trait and should not be foisted upon the hapless folks who work in my office, including moi.

state of the economy

It's really sad that when it comes to brass tacks the bookstore has let me down again. I know there have been problems meeting sales goals in recent months and they talked about cutting hours...but I didn't expect it to be me that had to pay that price. My manager wrote me an email to let me know that they won't need me to come in for my shifts until further notice. I'm not fired...but I am laid off. Strangely enough I'm feeling down about it. I don't work that often, about once a week, but I really enjoy it when I do.
The administration gives the american people the line about the economy bouncing back and the jobless rate going down, and what do I see but a lay-off from a job I've held for five years? I won't even be there when I have my anniversary. Things are pretty bad all over the country, and I don't see improvement in sight. At my full-time job I am paid less now than when I started, due to raises in insurance costs. We're due for more budget cuts this coming year, and those will hurt us a lot. Everyone has to make changes and I don't want my head to be on the chopping block. My bills will still be there, my cats need to be fed, I still need a car with gas in it in order to do my job. I'm better off than some people, in that I don't have kids, a giant mortgage, or college loans to repay. Instead I have hospital bills and ongoing medical issues that require prescriptions to be filled and visits to the doctor and lab. Add in trips to the emergency room or hospital stays and that equals a lot of money that I don't have, and am not likely to in the near future. Things have to change, and not just for me.

WTF Rush?

So I was dreaming a really long dream. It began last night, I suppose, with the drink Bill made for me before I went to sleep. I was on a plane that two people jumped out of. They both had disabilities of some sort, and no parachutes, so the rescue had to be done. They didn't get injured because the landscape was like Degoba with swampyness and such.
So we had to climb these trees to try and see where these two guys had gotten to, and we had no luck. We ended up looking for the first building we could find in order to get some help. It turned out to be a radio station where people had set up tables for folks to watch the show. It was fucking Rush Limbaugh! Arrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. Not only that, but he came out to do his show nekked, with a giant afro wig. No more drinking before bed for me.

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"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." -John Stewart

great party

Ex-cellent party last night. I sent out a lot of invitations, and most of the people showed up, to my everlasting surprise. There was a lot of margarita drinking, and great chatter. A lot of people who had never met were talking happily under flowery strings of lights on my windowed porch and fire escape. I pointed the smokers to the fire escape to save them the trouble of walking up and down the stairs every time they needed a fix. I would have been okay with them lighting up on the porch too, but apparently my friends are too polite for that. I can dig it.

I was just so glad everyone showed up, had a great time, and stayed too long. The ultimate sign of a great 'do. I got a great movie from Netflix called "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter," and one of my friends popped it in later on when things got a little calmer. I could NOT believe how hilariously stupid that movie was. It gets extra points for being so cheezeball.

I overdid the activity as far as my poor foot was concerned. I've been babying it since the x-ray on Monday, and I was supposed to start rehab on it today. I was at court in the morning, then at work all day, and then shopping for supplies for the party. Suckage. The past few days I've had less swelling when I wake in the morning, but today it was as swollen as ever. I did try the rehab exercises, and now am icing it once again. I have no idea how long it's going to take to heal up, but I'm getting impatient for a bike ride. The weather has been beautiful and I want to be out in it.

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"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." -John Stewart