cause Michiel & FM did it - !

Fun at the Titty Twister.


Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
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die rolling for fun and profit!

Yeah well we were in Calabria tonight, and Carey had us immediately clean off the erasable gaming map and get chits ready to represent. Yo.

So that was exciting because everything would indicate some sort of melee engagement needing a marching order.

Carey: set a marching order everyone!

*grins all round cause we know what's coming*

Carey: No, really! No reason at all! It's just good to have a clear space and defined order, really!

*snickers*

Cack: I'm casting a spell.

Carey: All right! That sounds like initiative to me, Roll It!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And so it began. Wounded guy on side of road - doesn't want a heal....Hmm....turns down a Pally heal and won't let the Claire Witch tend his wounds? Would that be because...um....he's maybe faking?? So the Pally does a detect evil and voila! Senior Not-So-Wounded was evil. I say was because well, we killed him. Well, no, not us exactly - but Cack's shapeshifting Familiar, Ezelon, turned into a huge dire bear and ate him. She's actually quite lawful and good, but she hates liars and this guy was totally full of shit. It's really too bad that Cack ended up whacking the pregnant girlfriend too - but they were shooting repeating crossbows at us every couple of rounds!! They fucking SHOT my servant's mount. Anyone who shoots a horse gets it.

I actually whacked two banditos in one spell, Ice Storm. Wow, nice. First time I've gotten to use it, and the bardly one Rafe was trying to KS me when I picked up five six-siders and started to roll them around in my hands. He saw the amount of damage I was going to inflict within a 20 ft. radius (basically 40 feet wide and 40 feet high of pelting massive ice chunks) and he just stepped back and held action. My spell was instantaneous and again, voila! The Claire Witch had taken out two for one and added banditos to her list of kills.

OMG - Prince Kelvin went and picked a fight with a half-orc fighter with a magical falchion, and just about bit the big one. After I finished off the two on my side of the fight I went over to help him out. He was poisoned and taking lots of damage on the front and back swings - how'd he get poisoned? Well hell - he's the prince, he's poisoned like every other freaking day by someone with a claim to the throne. So I hit the half-orc with some Magic Missiles - which is just super cool right now because I have a caster level of 7 Wizard, even though I don't have the practical levels to back that up. That means the missiles keep adding up even though I'm in a prestige class and not taking Wizard anymore. Right now I have four at a time, and they are 1d4 + 1 damage each missile. And they don't miss. Ever.

We didn't end up killing the half -orc, but I did um..bewilder and awe the half orc into submission using my Allure mesmerization spell-like ability. I can turn it on or off at will, and if a person makes their Will save then they are immune to my flowery freshness for 24 hours. I mesmerized most of the group but smacked them out of it. If I give them any damage whatsoever then they do snap out of it, and are immune for that 24 hours. I end up slapping people alot because my levels increase and that spell gets super hard to resist.

We killed most of the banditos and sent the bardly one and the roguely one to go check out the hideout. The ones we missed had already gone back and thus we missed them again, and did not get loot. The half orc is on a mission to redeem himself and get his weapon back (jesus, one point would have killed him off, what a waste of space) ~ and the Prince Kelvin was really really fucked when he cast a Psionic power. All of his powers started going off randomly and he was in information overload. The poison was the culprit and it ended up that he had a sword that was rigged to let some kind of weird psionic poison out through the hilt when a person was fighting. He got quite the dose. We figured it out and fixed him. I think.

Basically our entire night was fighting bandits on the road and then figuring out was the fuck was wrong with Kelvin. Well, what *else* was wrong with Kelvin. =P ha.

in The Fray's dressing room after the show

...from an email re: Ben Folds' opening act...

::big long toke::

"Fuck."

"Dude, what".

"It's us. Ben's singing about us."

"What do you mean?"

"...*we* are Rocking the Suburbs."

::big long toke::

::big long toke::

"...Fuck."

braless with ben folds

stardate: 10.26.2005. madison, wi - orpheum theater...ben folds!! holy mother of gawd that was a great show. I waited almost 2 hours in the cold to get a good spot in line and ended up in the front row. Well, that was good and bad because Bill and I got squashed up against our seats by the giant crowd in front of the stage. Oh who gives a fuck! He saw me. I'm thinkin it was my Rock This Bitch shirt. hehe. Some girl behind me said, "oh my god! he just smiled at that girl that's wearing his shirt!!" And boy- did he ever. He was at his piano, like TWENTY feet away, he turned his head to look at the crowd, saw me smiling at him, and just GRINNED this shit eating grin. I thought I might die on the spot!
He fucking rocked the house down. He came out at the beginning of the show and played "jesusland" in this weird, short style, kind of harsh, like "fuck you" really fast, then he stood up and said "goodnight Milwaukee!" and walked offstage! HAHAHAHA! After a while he and the band came back out and started the show- but that was funny.

Along with a lot of new ones off Songs for Silverman he played some real favorites. Brick, Army, Philosophy, and omg he did Bitches Ain't Shit as well...HAHAHA! He had the crowd sing along (not like he could stop them, the whole place was singing) and that was just too damn funny. "nothing but ho's and tricks" and I knew there was some mother behind us that brought her kid, and I was wondering what she was thinking about all that. Ben didn't do Rock This Bitch - but he did do Rockin the Suburbs (makes me wanna say.........FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!), and Narcolepsy sounded great.

He also did Not the Same, as well as Still Fighting It, and the Ascent of Stan, which I'd never heard, but there ya go- it was great. He sang Underground and people went completely apeshit! He did this KICKASS version of Landed, too. He tossed in All You Can Eat (they give no fuck! hehe) and Gone sounded really good - and for a lot of the songs he had these massive endings where you see he was pounding the keyboard like a madman, really working hard. He was definitely *not* phoning it in to last night's show. He did say also that he likes playing Madison- and I can see why- the crowd was totally fucking *there* and singing every song, and really getting into what he does.

There were a few times when he lost his voice and after one time he got up like he was just done - haha but the other 99% of the singing was awesome. He was really giving his all and jammed out on the pian-er like he meant it. What a fucking great show. And I kept wishing Michiel was there.

Ben tonight!!

BEN TONIGHT! Wah HOOOOOOOO!

how cool

is this? Gaming. Sunday. Calabria. The plan was for us to start on our journey (finally, my GOD) to Avoirdupois lands, specifically Chalon du Saludre. My character Claire comes from a small island off the coast of Avoirdupois, and it's referred to as the Porter du Soleil. Nobility, of course. Stodgy, well yeah. Religious? Very much. Even more than the bulk of the continent. HAHA I said bulk and continent...ok potty humor aside.
So Claire's been going nuts. Epitome of first year college girl away from home, party down, etc. But in her case it's worse. She's been shagging halflings for fuck's sake! And the dark prince. And Elves! Bardly, studly elves, but that's just a bonus. Ok. So Claire will be dragged away and beaten, imprisoned, etc...for her "own" sake if she ever goes home again. What to do....what to do....
Get engaged to the prince and let his name protect you! Let's see em touch her now. So Lady *cough* Claire du Marchand is going home...engaged to royalty and completely ruined in the eyes of her family. I sent a letter home and got a response from my puir sweet muther....disowning my ass! Ok, she just said don't bring shame down on the family by stopping by. She laid it on pretty thickly and I was just very stunned listening. heheh! Response?? Hell yeah!
"Dearest Mother,
My heart hath been rent in two...
(from the peanut gallery: "Twain! twain sounds better!")
My heart hath been rent in twain....I am overcome with sadness and grief that you should feel this way...BLAH BLAH BLAH!

Ok insert a bunch of crapola like that - I dun remember too well cause I was laughing way too hard. It was a letter to share with her how ...sad...I was going to be ....all alone in the royal chambers....a lonely princess...how I would have to console myself with jewels....cry into my gleaming bejeweled cup as I mourn the loss of my poor, poor, noble family...and turn to the arms of the nation's beloved Prince Vittorio...How I was going to be just a mess as I tried to embrace my new life with the royal family...

Man. With our crowd of peanut gallery and hecklers that was fucking hilarious. I could barely finish because I was short of breath from just laughing like a hyena!! We all had a really good time with that. Carey is genius with her ideas about Claire and her uptight family. Oh yeah! Her mother was also on about Anu (their god) and how disappointed he was with me, and how I have abandoned my faith, and yadda yadda yadda - high-larious. Well, Anu's house was empty. I've been entertained by no less than four gods in the past year, and I'm pretty sure Claire's going to side with the Jester, aka Dionysus. He's chaotic neutral so that should work well. Claire actually gave him an offering in the last dreamscape - so I think she's on the road to having a god. And he *did* warn her about the nasty god who was trying to tempt her with fun skills and abilities and in the past had his followers capture, torture, rape, and skin alive young children. No reason she'd do that if she was a follower, that's just his past. But holy fuck! She's neutral good -no way she's gonna follow an evil god. No matter how cool the Darkvision was as a human. =P

That was so much fun with that letter from & to Claire's poooooor mother. Cry cry...Dig dig...Cry cry...Dig dig...and in the middle: Roar with Laughter!

I got my action point. =D (point awarded for completing the personality feat that game session) My feat is Comic Relief. heheh! That's funny because the Jester *requires* a person with that feat to set him free upon the world of Calabria once again. well, and an item worth 15,000 gold. OUCH! Claire's had up to 14K+ so far, but that was accidental and she ended up buying an entire freaking HOUSE and land with that. I suppose she could solicit more funds from the DeLonghi family for "spell research" but that would be dishonest. Hmmmmm *grin* They don't need the money for much - and 15K gold to a DeLonghi? Well shit, they handed over 4K gold to me just last week without a quibble. food for thought.

god DAMN it.

So I found out what the heck happened during my surgery. I saw my doctor today and he pronounced me "fine" and said I "did well" but they couldn't really do the second atrial lead because I was very uncomfortable and apprehensive during the procedure. So what, I asked, does that mean that I freaked out? Cause I don't remember a thing beyond that plastic drape going over my face. Dr. Vic said that he came up incased in lead for the x-rays and apparently (this is just what he says, you can't prove a thing) I was intimidated by him and compared him to a storm trooper. I laughed about that when he said it because it sounds like something I'd say but I don't think I'd be scared, you know?? I was drugged and making jokes, it sounds like. So that's all Vic had to say, but how would that make them not be able to do a procedure??
Another thing he said was that they removed scar tissue from my heart where the original lead is attached. Usually they don't see that in older people, and in my case because I'm so young the thing healed over and was probably headed for impedance. He was not concerned by that because it just indicates I heal well. Also, my incision is almost completely healed and he removed the rest of the bandages.

Ok. I sensed a coverup someplace. When Vic left the room I grabbed my folder and looked for some further info. Well goddamn. According to the notes there was severe difficulty putting me under. I didn't respond to really high doses of two different kinds of medication, and I was awake and crying and feeling the surgery. The lidocaine didn't numb me up I guess and I felt it all. Or said I was feeling it, anyway. I also was having issues with the plastic over my face and said I was claustrophobic. Apparently at some point I had enough and was trying to get up and out. So there was danger with them trying to attach a lead because I was thrashing around, in pain, and apparently panicking about being smothered.

So that's what Vic couldn't (wouldn't) tell me? That I panicked and they couldn't drug me sufficiently? Why not just explain that from the start? He did say that in future any procedures they do will be under general anesthesia instead of the sedation method. Well holy fuck I TOLD them that in the operating room - that they were better off knocking me out!! I don't remember anything so their "forgetting" drugs work. But if they couldn't even *do* the whole procedure because I'm not doped up enough and am in full panic mode then there's a problem with their choice of dope.

No wonder I was so sick from the drugs. They used way more than they would've normally, and that's just stupid. I'm so pissed.

intergalactic planetary

Some nights are just great. Last night Bill and I napped, then biked over to his place, picked up the Pussy Wagon (his Volvo) and went down to Montmartre. The music was great, the company was even better, and I again realized how small Madison is.

Everyone I know knows each other, and even people that I knew from other places know each other. Everyone knows everyone! Ok it seems odd that I would be knocked over by this but I've never been in this situation before. My life has been full of strangers and nobody knowing anyone else that I know. It comes from moving around a lot and from living in bigger cities. There's a sense of anonymity that is genuinely missing in this town.

I moved to Madison and went to Borders and work for Steve. Ok, so then I met Dory three years later. Then I met Bill because of Drinking Liberally. Then I met Kevin and Craig because of Drinking Liberally. Then I met Ellie and Kori because of Bill. Then I met Meg because of Dory. Then I met Bob and Stephanie because of Ellie. Then I met Jen because of Meg and the Film Festival. Then I met Sean because of Borders and Steve. Then I met John and Judith because of Dory. Jen is married to Sean, and Steve knows almost everyone. Now I keep meeting everyone over again in different contexts. It is funny though, how everyone is surprised (including me) again and again as we keep meeting like this. It's two degrees of separation for everyone in Madison. Is this luck? Or karma? Or is it just that we are all the same type of folk and gravitate in the same direction?

I feel like I'm in a Jan Karon novel. My genuine thought is that it's got to be art, film, music, and beer that adds the magnetism. Who is the sun?

thoughts on the morning

There's something about coffee that makes a day begin right. I crawled out of the QSFB (queen-sized fun bed) and the only thing I could think about was grinding some beans and brewing them up for a cup o' java to get my motor runnin'. As Anne Sexton said:

I'm the queen of this condition.
I'm an expert on making the trip
and now they say I'm an addict.
Now they ask why.
WHY!

Yeah - I may be addicted but it sho is fun.

I've been getting invites to another, separate game night with some folks I've met a handful of times at different places. The husband totally RAWKS, and the wife, well, she could use some Valium every day for about a decade and then come back to see me. I made the mistake of telling him (or her, I dunno who reads that email and it really super bugs me when two people use the same email address) that I don't play Magic the Gathering anymore so bummer to their Magic night I can't make it. Cause now they are changing that night to be only boardgames so that people who don't play Magic can come after all~! Jesus christ. It's no coincidence. Now I'll be a major lamer if I don't go play some Settlers of Catan or other card stuff. *shudder* with Her.

God - it was so funny on my last trip to Europe and I saw a Settlers game but it was in Dutch - and I tried to teach Henri, Vonai and Michiel how to play it - it's not like the game is so overly hard, but I hadn't played in a while and the damn thing was in a different language!! *HAH* We did okay - but after I got home and played here with Darth Moll and Cack and Stu I realized that I'd probably done more harm by adding too many complications - and now I need to go back to Nijkerk and play some more to get it straight. =D

Anyway I will post this entire poem because it's one that really spoke to me years ago. It's the Addict, by Anne Sexton.

Sleepmonger,
deathmonger,
with capsules in my palms each night,
eight at a time from sweet pharmaceutical bottles
I make arrangements for a pint-sized journey.
I'm the queen of this condition.
I'm an expert on making the trip
and now they say I'm an addict.
Now they ask why.
Why!

Don't they know that I promised to die!
I'm keeping in practice.
I'm merely staying in shape.
The pills are a mother, but better,
every color and as good as sour balls.
I'm on a diet from death.

Yes, I admit
it has gotten to be a bit of a habit-
blows eight at a time, socked in the eye,
hauled away by the pink, the orange,
the green and the white goodnights.
I'm becoming something of a chemical
mixture.
that's it!
My supply
of tablets
has got to last for years and years.
I like them more than I like me.
It's a kind of marriage.
It's a kind of war where I plant bombs inside
of myself.
Yes
I try
to kill myself in small amounts,
an innocuous occupation.
Actually I'm hung up on it.
But remember I don't make too much noise.
And frankly no one has to lug me out
and I don't stand there in my winding sheet.
I'm a little buttercup in my yellow nightie
eating my eight loaves in a row
and in a certain order as in
the laying on of hands
or the black sacrament.
It's a ceremony
but like any other sport
it's full of rules.
It's like a musical tennis match where
my mouth keeps catching the ball.
Then I lie on my altar
elevated by the eight chemical kisses.
What a lay me down this is
with two pink, two orange,
two green, two white goodnights.
Fee-fi-fo-fum-
Now I'm borrowed.
Now I'm numb.

boneheaded!!

I need to have a new head attached - one that can do math. It seems I can't add, even with the aid of a calculator. It all started after I got back from Holland in May. My brain shut down and every single one of my rep payee accounts has been off since. Slowly, since last month, I've been noticing little mistakes that solve bigger mistakes and I can't believe I never saw this shit before!! Quicken is supposed to be my friend, but it's just not workin' out that way.
I have to redo months of book keeping and it's such a pain in my ass! It was my fault to begin with so at least I can find solace in the fact that I'm not cleaning up anyone else's mess but my own.

where the fuck's my candy already!

Freaking hell I wish I still smoked. I'd get more time to catch fresh air outside. Of course there'd be carbon monoxide running through my veins instead, but hey who cares, right? The phone wouldn't be ringing in a place where I'd have to answer it!!

There's something about a ringing phone that just makes me feel harrassed. Everyone wants something when they call. What time this, what time that, who is working this, who is working that, and by the way I can't work that shift after all and now you're screwed. Bleh!! At least they don't want money. Well, most of them. Some people want checks for whatever. Hell, I don't care, it's not my money. I just sign the paper.

Oh man I love my new Old Navy halloween shirt. For those who aren't overly familiar with either Old Navy or Halloween, lemme essplane to joo. O.N. always makes a batch of shirts for Independence Day with their logo and they cost $5. They've been so goddamn popular over the years that now the stores have Halloween shirts too, with cute little pumpkins and such. LONG SLEEVED even, and black. And still $5. So I got the last XXL (usually I'd get XL but these run too small over my breasts) and have gotten a lot of compliments today. Yay! My raging PMS has me very insecure so any boost at all to my ego helps immensely.
Oh, and about halloween? What the fuck DOOD*, you have Google too.

*Use of DOOD taken from Stereolabrat, my hero. Check her blog-----> HERE.

better living through chemistry

I'm doing better, although I'm sore and for some reason my left nipple has been sensitive since the procedure. I hope they didn't hit a nerve or somesuch. I took some more narcotic analgesics and so it's better living through chemistry. I was able to clean my bathroom last night (WooT!) and now I have the rest of the house to do. We'll see how that goes. Bill's been a sweetie although he really doesn't have a clue about driving my CRX. *shudder* - poor man is still sick with the flu.
What's really sad is that I'm getting a flu shot on Wednesday, and I've already *HAD* it. =P Well maybe I won't get it as bad next time.

I feel like I'm healing faster this time around. In 99 I flew out to Dad's to recover and it seemed like I was super depressed and not doing so well. This time I had friends around me taking care of me and I got lots of rest. That alone is probably speeding my recovery. Oh yeah, and sex. I am positive it's helping me. I should test that theory some more. *evil grin*
Actually it was weird. When I first came out of the hospital I couldn't orgasm; it was like my body just wouldn't do it. It took a few days of REALLY trying before I was able to finally do it. I don't know if that was the medication or I was too wiped out or what. I'm just glad it's FIXED, dammit! *HAHA*

surgery-ness over and done!

Well hey that was a long week for me. I'm glad it's Friday, and I'm glad I'm done with all that hospital bullshit. I've got a gash on my shoulder, bruises where they jabbed me with needles, and soreness in all kinds of places. Not the good kind of soreness either.

On the plus side, I'm over here at Bill's and Ellie made Irish Breakfast Tea for me this morning. That was nice. Another plus is that I'm heavily medicated with Darvocet and things are floaty and nice at the moment, through my haze of pain.

Jill called this morning and wanted to take me out for lunch this afternoon which I thought was very nice of her. We went to Laredo's and had some decent mexican food, although it wasn't carne asada. :P