Monday, November 07, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
added a quiz
I like it. I can make whatever I want. This time it's about make out music. Dory and I were discussing how good or bad different make out music was; a lot of it sucks hugely if it makes you laugh, like Barry White. I have seriously FADING memories of the MW dancing around the Union to Barry. Was I um, supposed to find it sexy? I laughed my ass off.
Friday, November 04, 2005
numb ass
so like, yeah I'm gonna try this novel thing but jesus CHRIST my ass is numb from sitting here for so long. I'm gonna have to find a little alarm that says BEEP beep, shelley get up and stretch before you lose all feeling in your nethers. At least I have a freshly-cleaned Senseo that I ran vinegar through this morning. My coffee will be good and fast. And plentiful. With luck, that is.
Of course - the novel is gonna be CRAP - but hell, as long as my word count is high I don't give a ratfuck.
UPDATED chapter 1, word count 1,446/50,000
The crisp morning air smelled like the apples not far off in the orchard near the chaise where Valerie sat enjoying the sunrise with her cat, Dolly, snuggled up next to her hip. The early sun's rays slowly moved up her body as the giant ball of flame rose in the East, warming her legs and easing the chill of the past night.
To Valerie's left was a small table with steaming coffee and scones awaiting her. Dolly purred as Valerie idly stroked her fur, then reached past for some of that coffee. "Mmm..." she said as she took that first sip. Just what the doctor ordered. Nothing better than hot coffee after a crazy night like the last one had been.
Not that she could remember of course, exactly what had transpired. She was quite certain, though, that she wasn't going relive any memories just yet. It was too nice just sitting and feeling the sun with a purring furball to make her feel warm, loved, and alive.
Valerie always prided herself on being easygoing and good-natured, even in the face of major adversity, or when things tended to catch fire or explode when she was nearby. All her life she had wondered why she was seemingly cursed. It was as a young child that Valerie found out she was adopted. Her adoptive parents didn't know anything about Valerie's birth mother or father. When young Valerie had asked where they were and why they had given her up, her parents told her that she was very special and it didn't matter from where she had come or why she was chosen for them, but only that she was special, and loved. For this reason Valerie didn't push to find her birth family.
Once when Valerie was young she had snooped through her parents' files in the basement and found a file just marked "V. Arditi." Her natural curiosity won out over any fear that her parents would feel angry that she was snooping. She opened the file, and found many things, one of which appeared to be her birth certificate. The hospital was a local one, and the doctor was the same one she currently saw for all of her medical visits. There was only a blank space where her mother should have been listed, and the space for father was also blank. The birthday was correct, November thirtieth, nineteen sixty-eight. Valerie had thought the whole thing was strange but had she asked then her parents would know she was looking around where she shouldn't.
She had never found out any more information than what was in the folder in the basement. Her parents either never found the right moment, or had no interest in explaining things. At any rate, Valerie had quite a happy childhood, and when her career in television took off at the age of eight she never had any free time to wonder further about her natural parents.
"Come to think of it, what did happen last night?" she wondered, and a thinking divot appeared on her forehead. Valerie looked down at Dolly and remembered that she didn't own a cat. "Well isn't that something," she mused as she continued to pet the creature.
Dolly looked up and flashed a feral grin at Valerie, and in a low, growling voice said, " Took you awhile, didn't it?" Valerie made a short, loud squeak, and bounded up from the chaise, knocking cat, coffee, and chair all over the lawn.
"Wh..who are you?! Or, what are you!" Valerie stammered out as she backed away slowly from what appeared to be a talking feline. Dolly had fallen as cats fall, landing half on her feet and half on her back. She quickly jumped to her paws and shook herself all over, finishing with her head, giving her ears a flick, and all the while looking at Valerie with a cat glare.
"Why'd you have to go and do that now, Valerie Arditi?" Valerie kept backing up across the lawn while she half shook her head in disbelief. She stared at Dolly with wide eyes, as the cat hopped over the disturbed coffee scene and started to pad towards her. Valerie held her hands out in front of her body and waved them around a bit.
"You...you just stay back, cur. I have mace, someplace!" Dolly just snickered.
"Cur?" the cat gave the equivalent of a snort. "It's been some time since I heard that one, Mistress. You must be channeling a former soul from a time when I came to save you as well."
"Save me? From what?"
"As your protector, I would guess from whatever might cause you harm."
Valerie stopped backing away to get herself together. She looked around her grassy yard to see if there was anyone with a camera hiding in the bushes or hanging behind a tree taking snapshots. As a cast member of the number one-rated television series on a popular network, she could scarce afford anything bizarro getting published in the National Enquirer or any of the other news rags. That had gotten her in enough trouble over the years.
Valerie Ardito had long since become a household name and a common face on TV Guide magazine. She had starred in multiple television shows and made for tv movies by the time she was eight years old. Valerie was known for her eccentric behavior on and off the set, with many speculations that she was a witch, devil worshipper, or space alien. Since witches, devil worshippers, and space aliens are fairly common occurrences in Hollywood, she fit right in.
Over the years Valerie's oddities became commonplace enough, but that didn't mean she wanted to stoke the fires and get herself on the front page again with the header, "TV Star Elopes With Bat Boy, Again." God knows she had enough of a problem explaining it the first time. Besides, Bat Boy had become a very well known cover model himself, after a bit of cosmetic surgery. And Valerie was a fool for a pretty face.
Valerie always had a hell of time with Bat Boy, also known as Victor Zora (stage name, of course). When the margaritas began to flow and the tequila shots stayed plentiful Victor and Valerie became the best of friends. They had actually tried to elope more than once, but her publicist always showed up just in time with the Sober Wagon and stopped the pair from getting legal in Las Vegas.
It was always fun for Valerie to see how far her publicist would let her go before pulling in the reins.
Valerie was known to be eccentric, but quick on the draw. "Ok, Doll Face, what exactly are you doing here, and how is it that you can speak?"
She had a second to consider that cats really can roll their eyes, then Dolly spoke.
"That's Dolly, Mistress, if you'd be so kind as to respect the moniker I've chosen this time around. To answer your question, I'm here to protect you, and as your spirit animal, I've taken the form of a cat. I can speak because I've spent millenia in different forms, experimenting with speech and other abilities. You'd totally flip if you saw what I can do with a falafel while in camel form." Dolly made the approximation of a belly laugh, and sat down. She started licking her paws as Valerie moved to stand in front of her.
Valerie crouched down in front of the cat and sort of squinted at her to get a better look. Then she said,"How is it that I've never seen you before? Wouldn't you think I'd know if I had an animal spirit?"
Dolly replied, "Up until last night I was inside you, with your soul, since the day you were born."
Valerie furrowed her brow and said, "Last night? I can't even remember last night!"
"And you won't remember until you are ready to accept that you are a spiritual being with ties to the Otherworld. Ties that are going to have you in danger soon enough." With that, Dolly jumped up and bounded off towards Valerie's back door, which swung silently open for the cat to walk into, then just as silently swung closed after her.
Valerie stood up again and put a hand to her forehead. "I must have really tied one on last night, because I don't even like cats, and now I've got one talking to me and predicting the future with dire warnings!"
She went about righting her chaise, setting the table back up and went in for more coffee.
To Valerie's left was a small table with steaming coffee and scones awaiting her. Dolly purred as Valerie idly stroked her fur, then reached past for some of that coffee. "Mmm..." she said as she took that first sip. Just what the doctor ordered. Nothing better than hot coffee after a crazy night like the last one had been.
Not that she could remember of course, exactly what had transpired. She was quite certain, though, that she wasn't going relive any memories just yet. It was too nice just sitting and feeling the sun with a purring furball to make her feel warm, loved, and alive.
Valerie always prided herself on being easygoing and good-natured, even in the face of major adversity, or when things tended to catch fire or explode when she was nearby. All her life she had wondered why she was seemingly cursed. It was as a young child that Valerie found out she was adopted. Her adoptive parents didn't know anything about Valerie's birth mother or father. When young Valerie had asked where they were and why they had given her up, her parents told her that she was very special and it didn't matter from where she had come or why she was chosen for them, but only that she was special, and loved. For this reason Valerie didn't push to find her birth family.
Once when Valerie was young she had snooped through her parents' files in the basement and found a file just marked "V. Arditi." Her natural curiosity won out over any fear that her parents would feel angry that she was snooping. She opened the file, and found many things, one of which appeared to be her birth certificate. The hospital was a local one, and the doctor was the same one she currently saw for all of her medical visits. There was only a blank space where her mother should have been listed, and the space for father was also blank. The birthday was correct, November thirtieth, nineteen sixty-eight. Valerie had thought the whole thing was strange but had she asked then her parents would know she was looking around where she shouldn't.
She had never found out any more information than what was in the folder in the basement. Her parents either never found the right moment, or had no interest in explaining things. At any rate, Valerie had quite a happy childhood, and when her career in television took off at the age of eight she never had any free time to wonder further about her natural parents.
"Come to think of it, what did happen last night?" she wondered, and a thinking divot appeared on her forehead. Valerie looked down at Dolly and remembered that she didn't own a cat. "Well isn't that something," she mused as she continued to pet the creature.
Dolly looked up and flashed a feral grin at Valerie, and in a low, growling voice said, " Took you awhile, didn't it?" Valerie made a short, loud squeak, and bounded up from the chaise, knocking cat, coffee, and chair all over the lawn.
"Wh..who are you?! Or, what are you!" Valerie stammered out as she backed away slowly from what appeared to be a talking feline. Dolly had fallen as cats fall, landing half on her feet and half on her back. She quickly jumped to her paws and shook herself all over, finishing with her head, giving her ears a flick, and all the while looking at Valerie with a cat glare.
"Why'd you have to go and do that now, Valerie Arditi?" Valerie kept backing up across the lawn while she half shook her head in disbelief. She stared at Dolly with wide eyes, as the cat hopped over the disturbed coffee scene and started to pad towards her. Valerie held her hands out in front of her body and waved them around a bit.
"You...you just stay back, cur. I have mace, someplace!" Dolly just snickered.
"Cur?" the cat gave the equivalent of a snort. "It's been some time since I heard that one, Mistress. You must be channeling a former soul from a time when I came to save you as well."
"Save me? From what?"
"As your protector, I would guess from whatever might cause you harm."
Valerie stopped backing away to get herself together. She looked around her grassy yard to see if there was anyone with a camera hiding in the bushes or hanging behind a tree taking snapshots. As a cast member of the number one-rated television series on a popular network, she could scarce afford anything bizarro getting published in the National Enquirer or any of the other news rags. That had gotten her in enough trouble over the years.
Valerie Ardito had long since become a household name and a common face on TV Guide magazine. She had starred in multiple television shows and made for tv movies by the time she was eight years old. Valerie was known for her eccentric behavior on and off the set, with many speculations that she was a witch, devil worshipper, or space alien. Since witches, devil worshippers, and space aliens are fairly common occurrences in Hollywood, she fit right in.
Over the years Valerie's oddities became commonplace enough, but that didn't mean she wanted to stoke the fires and get herself on the front page again with the header, "TV Star Elopes With Bat Boy, Again." God knows she had enough of a problem explaining it the first time. Besides, Bat Boy had become a very well known cover model himself, after a bit of cosmetic surgery. And Valerie was a fool for a pretty face.
Valerie always had a hell of time with Bat Boy, also known as Victor Zora (stage name, of course). When the margaritas began to flow and the tequila shots stayed plentiful Victor and Valerie became the best of friends. They had actually tried to elope more than once, but her publicist always showed up just in time with the Sober Wagon and stopped the pair from getting legal in Las Vegas.
It was always fun for Valerie to see how far her publicist would let her go before pulling in the reins.
Valerie was known to be eccentric, but quick on the draw. "Ok, Doll Face, what exactly are you doing here, and how is it that you can speak?"
She had a second to consider that cats really can roll their eyes, then Dolly spoke.
"That's Dolly, Mistress, if you'd be so kind as to respect the moniker I've chosen this time around. To answer your question, I'm here to protect you, and as your spirit animal, I've taken the form of a cat. I can speak because I've spent millenia in different forms, experimenting with speech and other abilities. You'd totally flip if you saw what I can do with a falafel while in camel form." Dolly made the approximation of a belly laugh, and sat down. She started licking her paws as Valerie moved to stand in front of her.
Valerie crouched down in front of the cat and sort of squinted at her to get a better look. Then she said,"How is it that I've never seen you before? Wouldn't you think I'd know if I had an animal spirit?"
Dolly replied, "Up until last night I was inside you, with your soul, since the day you were born."
Valerie furrowed her brow and said, "Last night? I can't even remember last night!"
"And you won't remember until you are ready to accept that you are a spiritual being with ties to the Otherworld. Ties that are going to have you in danger soon enough." With that, Dolly jumped up and bounded off towards Valerie's back door, which swung silently open for the cat to walk into, then just as silently swung closed after her.
Valerie stood up again and put a hand to her forehead. "I must have really tied one on last night, because I don't even like cats, and now I've got one talking to me and predicting the future with dire warnings!"
She went about righting her chaise, setting the table back up and went in for more coffee.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
distraction and suckage
So is this going to be another wasted month? Am I going to get anywhere on anything besides keeping my head above water?? I feel like a spaniel treading towards something..but god knows what.
Last night I had to work all night - and yet I don't feel like I helped anything - I was just another body filling space. I'm a cog in a machine, replaceable and useless alone.
I could just be really freakin tired, but I don't think that's it. What the heck does my life mean? I work, I hang out with friends, I dodge Irish bill collectors. The high point of my day seems to be my significant other. What am I doing? Do most people have goals for their lives? I know I'm not the only one on that hampster wheel. I'm so stressed out all the time, worrying about not doing everything I need to do - but what the hell else is there? I don't have any higher purpose, I don't even think I've have the TIME to worry about a higher purpose. I just keep on keepin on and hope I don't sink. I hate feeling like this!
When does everything start to have any meaning?? And why does it matter? I'm still on that wheel - is my entire life about distracting myself from the black hole that awaits us all? Distraction. From emptiness. Treading water. For the rest of my fucking life?? I suppose I could get myself a drug that makes it all seem better - did that for a long time. Yeah - numb all my feelings so that I *think* nothing's wrong. Of course then nothing is enjoyable either. I don't want that tradeoff.
I know that my life has some sort of meaning. I just don't know what it is. I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
and the beat goes on...
So Bill and I were Sonny and Cher for Halloween. *Early* Sonny and Cher. Except maybe not as early as this pic because Bill had the trademark mustache. I think we were going for Caesar and Cleo days. Anyway it was great and Bill's ass looked really good in his black jeans. Hey that's all I need. ;-) My boots were knee highs and about a three inch heel, and I wore them to work for four hours before the Halloween party - and I could describe the agony but that would only put you off your feed for a month.
I hope we win the contest at work - but I won't know for a week. I thought we were pretty awesome looking. =)
Anyway - if we don't, then...
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