distraction and suckage

So is this going to be another wasted month? Am I going to get anywhere on anything besides keeping my head above water?? I feel like a spaniel treading towards something..but god knows what.
Last night I had to work all night - and yet I don't feel like I helped anything - I was just another body filling space. I'm a cog in a machine, replaceable and useless alone.
I could just be really freakin tired, but I don't think that's it. What the heck does my life mean? I work, I hang out with friends, I dodge Irish bill collectors. The high point of my day seems to be my significant other. What am I doing? Do most people have goals for their lives? I know I'm not the only one on that hampster wheel. I'm so stressed out all the time, worrying about not doing everything I need to do - but what the hell else is there? I don't have any higher purpose, I don't even think I've have the TIME to worry about a higher purpose. I just keep on keepin on and hope I don't sink. I hate feeling like this!
When does everything start to have any meaning?? And why does it matter? I'm still on that wheel - is my entire life about distracting myself from the black hole that awaits us all? Distraction. From emptiness. Treading water. For the rest of my fucking life?? I suppose I could get myself a drug that makes it all seem better - did that for a long time. Yeah - numb all my feelings so that I *think* nothing's wrong. Of course then nothing is enjoyable either. I don't want that tradeoff.
I know that my life has some sort of meaning. I just don't know what it is. I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much.