music: Be Cool Soundtrack
mood: perplexed, with a hint of incredulity
I feel like I've been poleaxed. I got this email and it's...poetry. I'm sitting here, shaking my head, and I'm having trouble. It was a great poem, not disgustingly mushy. That's not the problem. The crux is that things with Bill are going so well that I'm getting nervous and suspicious.
I don't know if I'm afraid of things failing or succeeding...I can't take anything back, and I don't want to. I need to exorcise any shit I'm dragging around that causes me to question every opportunity for happiness, or next I'll be sabotaging myself. I've rarely been as happy as I've been the past month. I want things to continue on the way they have since I jumped back in the pool...I'm just finding out how deep the water is.
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