normalcy would be great

So last weekend I was at Borders and I started having dizzy spells. They felt not dissimilar to the blood pressure drops I had in the air en route to Amsterdam. After resting, eating, whatever...and they wouldn't subside, I left work and headed home. I called Dr. Vorperian's (my cardiologist)nurse and asked what these symptoms could mean. She didn't have any answers for me but said she would talk to Vic (short for Vicken Vorperian) for me.
There was a message from Sue in the Meriter Pacer Clinic on my machine yesterday that said they were told my machine had an event and I should come in ASAP. What that means is they were told my defib gave me a shock. I called Sue back and set that straight but she still wanted me to come in for a checkup today. The pacer check told the cardiac nurse that my heart's been acting funny, and the machine has been recording it. Apparently I've had periods where my heart begins to speed up unnaturally, and it was out of the range of what's considered normal so it was recorded.
Now, I know that when my heart speeds up like that it can go into a bad rhythm and cause some instant death. I have the internal defib, so I am not worried I'll drop over. I don't like what's happening though. Honestly it scares the shit out of me and I don't know what to do. Dizzy spells, fatigue, possible hospitalization, and death don't appeal to me. I'm only 31, for christ's sake!
I asked the nurse what I can do when I feel my pressure dropping, and she said to lie down and drink lots of water. Apparently drinking water raises blood pressure. She talked about putting me on beta blockers too, which was what killed my mother and aunt jackie. Jackie died within six days of starting beta blockers. I really don't want to press my luck. I just don't know what to do here! I feel really impotent and helpless and I'd really like to just be like any other person. I wish I JUST had Crohn's disease. I can manage that and it doesn't scare me. I know it can be fatal as well, but at least it's understood by most of the medical community and treatable. My heart is fucking up and nobody can do a goddamn thing. I don't want a transplant, because 50 percent of the time the patient dies during the procedure, and only a percentage of those make it past the first year.
I would like to be dealing with this better but I'm not able to right now. I'd like to be up and happy and excited about life but I'm pissing myself that my heart is fucking with my quality of life!!