well that sucked.

great, just great. I'm not enjoying this heart situation one bit. I hate to sound like a broken record but I really wish I wasn't so fucking defective. If i had the energy to feel embarrassed, I would be. First I had a spell at work which was quite obvious to two coworkers, enough that they kept asking me the rest of the day if I was okay. I didn't even notice anything at first, until one pointed out that I looked really bad and asked me how I felt. It's weird how tired I get from this stuff. I remember being so wiped out that I was ready for a nap right there. Then, prest-o change-o, 10 minutes later I'm fine again.
Tonight at Momo I got the worst headache first, then queasy, then dog-tired. Big mistake to try and stand. Woops. At least I knew enough to get the episode recorded so I could send it off when I got home. By the time I got to my car I was seeing spots, and my hands were tingling with pins and needles. That's at least a familiar sensation which means my pressure's really low. The arm pain kind of freaked me out, and I wondered if I was having a heart attack. I just hate this shit. I always thought that if I started down the road my mom was on with the symptoms being so bad that I wouldn't wait until I was debilitated like she was. I'm pretty sure she refused the defib on purpose. I refuse to live as an invalid so they'd better fucking fix me before I get worse.